'donation to an orphanage in Cambodia' - an extracirricular activity

"Our NISC card aims to raise the funds for our ultimate goal of financially supporting the National Borey Orphanage and School..." The presentation ended without any problems. Good. He will sign the contract, and yes, he did.

As the vice president of my school student council, I initiated a discount card of several local businesses in order to raise funds for donation to an orphanage in Cambodia. This exceptional experience of negotiating with business managers and dealing with official business contracts gave me a feeling of what life would be like in the society after my studies. But what was more important was the fulfillment I gained from donating. When the council actually succeeded in creating the target profit, I felt what it is really like to persevere with a goal and achieve that feat. When we actually got to hand the commodities and money to the orphanage, I was struck by this indescribable sense of achievement looking at the exhilarated faces of the children and the caretakers of the orphanage.

Well I like your intro. It sounds attractive. But I think that maybe you can add more things about the detailed impact of this activity on you-how it will influence you in the future. Anyway, this one is good and brief. Good luck!

PS: Thank you for your reply in my thread but I can't read it. Could reply it again (using the Reply button)?

Sorry there's a mistake with Wifi. I can see it right now.

You say "But what was more important was the fulfillment I gained from donating". This could be something you learned, so either move it to the end or restate it at the end. to sum up your essay in one sentence at the end makes it have a more memorable effect on the reader