I am applying to School of the Art Institute of Chicago and the 2nd Early Action deadline is tomorrow. I intend to get a BFA and specialize in Animation. The application requires a personal statement in which we discuss what we do and why we do it, in addition to volunteer work and any other performance or extracurricular activities that have pushed us to be who we are. That's my interpretation, anyway.
Here's the prompt:
Use your written statement as a way to better represent yourself and your work. Writing is a very important component of being an artist. We will be looking closely at your ability to compose an essay, as well as the manner in which you utilize text as a tool. We are interested in finding out more about you, why you do what you do, and why you are a strong candidate for SAIC's undergraduate program. Please also include information about community service projects, exhibitions you have participated in, or any other activities that contribute to the making of your work.
Here's what I have for my essay so far. I feel that it isn't grown up or focused enough.
Drawn to Life
In recent years art has become a prominent component of my life. Drawing, especially, grants me new perspectives on everyday thoughts and ideas. It is how I escape from the stubborn reality of life around me and run away to a world where I am in charge; everything is as I create it with no deviation. I also enjoy participating in other forms of art, including photography and musical activities such as show choir, singing and playing guitar, all of which have had a positive effect on who I am as a person and the way I express myself through my art.
Drawing is my favored form of expression. I experiment with different mediums such as graphite, watercolor, crayon, colored pencil and digital programs such as Photoshop and Paint Tool Sai. I work primarily in character design and portrait studies. Exploring both of these genres allows me to view both ends of the spectrum of realism; I create a male teenager with baggy pants and a clownish haircut, and the next day I study the aspects of the human face critically to create photo-realistic portraiture. These two fields provide a stark contrast from which I have learned how to stretch a character just the right amount.
In the past three years my inclination towards drawing has lead me to develop a deep interest and passion for animation. I have experimented with animation in Flash and on paper. The science of creating something out of nothing and breathing life into simple pencil strokes fascinates me and I wish to dive headfirst into the subject and learn everything I can about it.
I also have an interest in photography, especially unusual or gritty portraiture along with other experimental concepts. Photography allows me to present my world to the real world, through the lens; through my eyes. I also experiment in photo-manipulation using Photoshop. The possibilities are endless, and that is one of the aspects of photography I enjoy the most.
My interest in music, though not a career intention, has led me to achieve great things. This year I am a member of the Carmel High School Ambassadors show choir, which has been an experience that has changed my life permanently. I have learned a great deal about performing and what it takes to turn a group of people into a well -oiled machine: passion, determination, and every last bit of the energy in my body thrown into the task at hand. Music influences everything I do, from the way I walk to the rigor of my pencil strokes.
In addition to my school and extracurricular activities, I have participated in Girl Scouts of America for thirteen years, earning my Bronze Award among other volunteer activities done during my time in the program. I also volunteered during the recent Presidential Election.
I have been working independently to improve my work for years, but I feel that I am beginning to reach the point where there is no more I can do on my own. I hunger for new instruction and a new environment from which to absorb inspiration and a rejuvenated sense of creativity. I feel that SAIC would be the perfect fit for me because of its immersive artistic community and technological advancements. I yearn for the opportunity to stretch my artistic skill to its limits and discover new levels of ability. I crave the chance to bring something new to life.
Thank you in advance.
In recent years art has become a prominent component of my life.
Why you say from recent years? I think you better be a bit more descriptive about that as there is a vacuum you leave to the reader. Or else you can begin your essay with a personal experience that show them how important art is to your life. When you talk through personal experiences and emotions, they pass stronger messages to the reader than mere statements. It's important that you show your creativeness in the personal statement as it should stand out the other applications. I suggest you to start with the following line after modifying it accordingly. Then go the second sentence ;
It is how I escape from the stubborn reality of life around me and run away to a world where I am in charge; everything is as I create it with no deviation.
