"Dream Big, and The Result Will be Big." Why would you be a great participant of Ugrad?

Why would you be a great participant of Ugrad?

Hey guys. So, I'm applying for Global Ugrad program this year and this is my essay. Any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Dream Big, and The Result Will be Big

My lecturer once said that we were born to explore the world. It'd be a shame for us to just stay inside our shell all our life. And I completely agree with him. Going abroad had always been my biggest dream in life. I am never scared to dream big. Because I always believe that those who dream big, are those who will achieve the most.

Being the first one to go to college in my family has been a great motivation for me to really achieve my dreams in life and also to do well in my college studies. Especially since I got the Bidikmisi scholarship from the Indonesia's government to cover my college tuition, because I understand that my parents' financial condition can't afford me to continue my education in college. I always thought to myself that I have this obligation to give back what has been given to me. So, another one of my goals is to make myself to be able to contribute to this country. In my case, since I am a chemistry major, I want to help in developing the industrial sector and research in Indonesia. I am fully aware that research and technology is two important roles in this globalization era.

I am currently in my second year as a chemistry major in Bandung Institute of Technology (ITB). Being a chemistry student was my own decision, because I believe that chemistry holds a big role in our life. It explains many important things in life, such as medicine, environmental issues, industrial processes, etc. I wish to pursue my education in the US because many of the top universities in the world are in there. The US also has a good education system and a good chemistry program for me to learn more about my field of study. And as a multicultural country, the US might be a perfect way for me to improve my views on the reality.

I'm aware that the participants of this program would come from around the world, with a different language, character, and culture. This would be my chance to get a cross cultural experience. In my university, I also active in a student union that is focusing on Angklung (Indonesia's traditional music instrument) Music Orchestra. I really wish I'd get a chance to introduce Angklung to the world and let them know that Indonesia has a lot of amazing cultures.

With those explanations above, I am sure that I am eligible and am a good candidate for Fulbright Global Undergraduate Program. I am passionate and have a strong motivation to be a part of this program. This would be my first experience abroad. And I believe this program will help me open my eyes to the world out there and help me achieve my dreams.

Ryan, your essay is interesting and informative. However, the middle part deviated from being a personal statement, to bordering on a statement of purpose for a masters degree application. Since you are only going to spend a semester abroad, you need to adjust your interest in studying in the U.S. and the accomplishments you hope to accomplish while you are there. Keep in mind that you will only be in the U.S. for one year at the most, your personal statement should indicate how you plan to spend that year abroad, based upon your current study interests and social inclinations.

It would be good for your application if you can indicate a personal purpose for your desire to study abroad for a year. It could be something along the lines of experimentation that you cannot complete in your home country, or a desire to learn about some advancement in the field that was pioneered in the U.S. The only criteria that will help your essay stand out is that you plan to complete this project study or something related within a year. This will be the "dream big" part of your essay.

While it is nice that you wish to share your culture and heritage with the Americans, you should also make it clear that this will be a cultural learning process for you as well. You can term it a "cultural exchange" if you wish to since you will helping them learn about your country and they should help you learn more, non traditional information about the U.S.

The rest of the essay should be easy to adjust to my suggestions if you should decide to take it. Most of what you are saying can easily merge into new paragraphs. You just need to be a little creative and know at which parts of your revisions you can use the existing information.