Cornell College of Agriculture and Life Sciences: How have your interests and related experiences influenced your selection of major? (500 Words Limit)
I became fascinated with science at an early age. My parents, who are both scientists, would often tell me stories of famous researchers such as Louis Pasteur and Alexander Fleming. Their scientific curiosity led to breakthroughs that changed the course of history. For example, imagine how much suffering has been prevented by the advent of pasteurization and development of vaccines. Similarly, I am not merely content to just hear about the phenomena of our natural world. Not only do I have to witness the phenomena myself, but I also desire to understand the underlying principles behind these events. Because of this characteristic, I felt myself becoming more and more interested in research and dreamed that I would become a professional scientific researcher one day.
While growing up, I gradually begin to feel the hardships present in the world. As a first generation immigrant to America, I struggled to adapt myself to a completely different culture. However, this hardship pales in comparison to my sister's lifelong challenge: she was born with Cerebral Palsy with R Hemiplegia - brain damage that causes weakness in the right side of her body. As my parents worked hard to financially support our family, I invested lots of time helping my sister with physical therapy. I was deeply saddened whenever I saw her perform a simple, everyday task with great difficulty. During my second year in high school, one of my friends, Kevin, confided with me that his father suffers from renal failure and is dependent on frequent dialysis. Though his father wished to play tennis with him or at least attend one of his tournaments, his treatments usually left him too debilitated to even take a casual stroll. I now realize that such stories of families supporting a sick loved one are common. Witnessing my family's and other's sufferings, I became determined to use my love of science to benefit society but could not decide on a specific career choice to accomplish such goals. This indecisiveness took a drastic change after a summer internship at Los Angeles Biomedical Research Institute.
This internship proved to be extremely unforgettable: while there, I further witnessed the agony of patients who suffered from their ailments. For example, a CT scan revealed a spine so bent and twisted that it was impossible to imagine the resulting pain. This fact reminded me yet again of the hardships in this world, but I also saw a glimmer of hope that modern scientific knowledge can offer, particularly the many advances in medicine discovered by my mentors. My internship has shaped my dream: to become a biomedical researcher and give back to humanity by developing breakthrough pharmaceuticals that either cure chronic diseases or at the least help ease the patients' suffering.
To accomplish this goal, I am eager to pursue a biology degree from the Agricultural and Life Sciences College in Cornell University as it will provide me with a strong foundation and prepare me for a future in the medical sciences.
(497 words)
In addition to pointing out the grammatical errors, please tell me whether the idea is good too and whether my essay conveys that idea effectively. Thanks for reviewing my essay!
Biology and Life Sciences
I became fascinated with science at an early age. My parents, who are both scientists, would often tell me stories of famous researchers such as Louis Pasteur and Alexander Fleming. Their scientific curiosity led to breakthroughs that changed the course of history. For example, imagine how much suffering has been prevented by the advent of pasteurization and development of vaccines. Similarly, I am not merely content to just hear about the phenomena of our natural world. Not only do I have to witness the phenomena myself, but I also desire to understand the underlying principles behind these events. Because of this characteristic, I felt myself becoming more and more interested in research and dreamed that I would become a professional scientific researcher one day.
While growing up, I gradually begin to feel the hardships present in the world. As a first generation immigrant to America, I struggled to adapt myself to a completely different culture. However, this hardship pales in comparison to my sister's lifelong challenge: she was born with Cerebral Palsy with R Hemiplegia - brain damage that causes weakness in the right side of her body. As my parents worked hard to financially support our family, I invested lots of time helping my sister with physical therapy. I was deeply saddened whenever I saw her perform a simple, everyday task with great difficulty. During my second year in high school, one of my friends, Kevin, confided with me that his father suffers from renal failure and is dependent on frequent dialysis. Though his father wished to play tennis with him or at least attend one of his tournaments, his treatments usually left him too debilitated to even take a casual stroll. I now realize that such stories of families supporting a sick loved one are common. Witnessing my family's and other's sufferings, I became determined to use my love of science to benefit society but could not decide on a specific career choice to accomplish such goals. This indecisiveness took a drastic change after a summer internship at Los Angeles Biomedical Research Institute.
This internship proved to be extremely unforgettable: while there, I further witnessed the agony of patients who suffered from their ailments. For example, a CT scan revealed a spine so bent and twisted that it was impossible to imagine the resulting pain. This fact reminded me yet again of the hardships in this world, but I also saw a glimmer of hope that modern scientific knowledge can offer, particularly the many advances in medicine discovered by my mentors. My internship has shaped my dream: to become a biomedical researcher and give back to humanity by developing breakthrough pharmaceuticals that either cure chronic diseases or at the least help ease the patients' suffering.
To accomplish this goal, I am eager to pursue a biology degree from the Agricultural and Life Sciences College in Cornell University as it will provide me with a strong foundation and prepare me for a future in the medical sciences.
(497 words)
In addition to pointing out the grammatical errors, please tell me whether the idea is good too and whether my essay conveys that idea effectively. Thanks for reviewing my essay!