Dream School; Boston University Supp- Why applied?

All critiques and edits are appreciated. I'm seven words over the limit, so help cutting it down is critical.

In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission?

After first discovering BU, the urban campus and strong school spirit appealed to me. I had finally found the perfect balance between urban city life and active campus life. Most universities located in the city lack school spirit, and most universities in small towns have no major city nearby. BU is the perfect place that combines a major city rich with culture and opportunities with an active campus life. After finding out more about BU, I discovered its strong programs, emphasis on engaging with the community and diversity. These qualities are what sold me.

Coming from schools that required me to apply what I learned in the classroom through various projects and activities, I am attracted to the practical opportunities and programs BU offers its students. I've always believed that the only way someone can use the knowledge from their courses in the future is if they apply it as they're learning. As BU is a pioneer of student research, study abroad and internship programs, I feel it is a good fit for me. I plan to take advantage of such opportunities at BU so I can extend my learning and become better prepared for the workplace.

Additionally, BU's values of inclusiveness and engagement with the community align with my own. I've always been a tolerant person that treats everyone I meet equally, and I work hard not to let stereotypes dictate what I think of others. For these reasons, BU is my dream school, and I'm looking forward to being an active student in its community.

Well, duh! You can probably make this dry wit wiith just a little tweak. Unless its so dry I missed it. :|


Maybe something like "BU is the perfect place for me because it combines..."


When I first discovered...


This makes it sound like you chose BU on a whim/its location.

In the second paragraph, maybe specify a few specific programs.


Colleges assume this. You don't need to tell them.

Well written, but try to be a little more specific.

Name some facilities, clubs, etc.

:)

I changed a lot in the beginning to make it less clique, and I added some more specifics. Tell me if you like this version better:

In my English class last year, I remember my teacher asking me what I wanted to study in college. I found myself challenged by this question. However, I came up with an answer of "I plan to study a few things before I make up my mind." I gave this answer because I knew I had many interests and wanted to delve into more than one subject in my higher education. Growing up, my interests made me knowledgeable in many areas, but it also made it hard to decide what I want to study in college. For me, BU takes away the difficulty of choosing and gives me the opportunity to not only study in several areas, but major in more than one subject.

Though today I can say Economics is my most keen interest and most likely what I'll study in college, I still want to study applied mathematics to satisfy my interest and better prepare me for my future career. Therefore, when I discovered the Econ and Mathematics joint-concentration program, where I could have the opportunity to study and major in economics and applied mathematics, I thought it fit exactly what I wanted to do in higher education. But BU is more than just strong academically for me. BU's values of inclusiveness and engagement with the community align with my own, BU places a strong emphasis on application of studies through student research, study abroad and internship programs and BU is located in the heart of a major city, yet maintains a strong campus life. For all of these reasons, BU is my dream school, and I'm looking forward to being an active student in its community.

bump.

There was a very abrupt jump between ' found myself challenged by this question. However, I came up with an answer of "I plan to study a few things before I make up my mind."

I gave this answer because I knew I had many interests and wanted to delve into more than one subject in my higher education. Growing up, my interests (such as?)made me knowledgeable in many areas, but it also made it hardER to decide what I want to study in college. For me, BU takes away the difficulty of choosing and gives me the opportunity to not only study in several areas, but major in more than one subject.

Though today I can say Economics is my most keen interest and most likely what I'll study in college,
^ Although I can say that I want to study Economics today, ______

Made those adjustments, but do you think this is worse or better than the previous version?

Perhaps you could speak a little of what programs they have that attract you. For example if you were applying to study biology, talk about their biology programs.

Good job so far and good luck!
If you've got a moment it'd be lovely if you could take a look at mine.

The second version is a lot better than the first. If you show them that you have spent good time researching specific details about the university they will be impressed.

So when you say things like, " BU's values of inclusiveness and engagement with the community align with my own," perhaps cite an example of a program or an action that they have done to show you that they value inclusiveness or engagement.

For example, if I was writing this same essay for Harvard, and I said something like, " Harvard's ethnic diversity appeals to me for bla bla bla reasons" , I would then cite with facts about how diverse there student body actually instead of just making a vague, carpet bombing statement. I would say something like, my high school was not saturated with many cultures and the fact that Harvard has 11% international, 8% African American, and 7% Hispanic students excites me.