Hi this essay is for prompt 1 on the common app
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Any suggestions, corrections or advice are appreciated
Also, i wanted to make sure this was applicable to the prompt
Drop Ball
"I found one!" The exquisite orange shell gleamed as the sun reflected off the ice. The tiny, snow-covered crevice near the middle of the pond harbored the prize. I imagined what the trophy would look like when it rested atop my treasure trove. A unique golf ball so rare, that it was the first of its kind to have surfaced upon the frozen pond.
Without a word, Brian and Oleg knew what was racing through my mind. They watched nervously as I crept down the edge of the half-dried, frozen pond and made my way to the edge of the shore.
I rested my foot on the ice, The solid foundation gave me false confidence as I took baby steps toward my target. My pulse was beating as fast as that of a hare being pursued by a wolf. I shuffled frantically, the golf ball was almost within arm's reach. In one brisk movement, I dropped to my knees and reached toward the crevice where the fountain was once displayed. I was so close.
I glanced over my shoulder at the others. I was not too far away from the shore, maybe only eight or 10 feet. I caught the sight of puddles forming throughout the lake. Somehow, the warm breeze sent chills down my spine, perhaps because of what it foreshadowed. Before I could react, a tiny crack in the ice had grown into a massive fault. The look of horror on my friends' faces reflected the fear in my eyes as I plunged into the abyss. Freezing water is supposed to feel like a thousand pins and needles piercing your skin, but this was far worse.
I struggled to keep my head above the surface while I attempted to drag my way to safety. My puffy jacket, saturated with water, became a dead weight as I fought for survival. Attempts to throw my body back onto the ice were futile. It had become too thin and just shattered beneath my weight. As I continued to struggle, I felt a tugging on my left foot. My left shoe was tangled in a conglomerate of seaweed. My next move was an easy but painful choice, I loved my new "Nike Kicks" but my life was more precious. With only one foot I pressed against the ice as my senses began to die. I could hear muffled screams and see blurry images, but could no longer feel the pain. In a final attempt, I reached out and grasped what I thought was the hand of God. It pulled me back to the shore, safe at last. A broken piece of fence offered to me by my friends had done the trick.
After seeing the stress I had caused my parents, my friends and my body, I vowed never to leave myself susceptible to such harm again. I learned that risking my life for such an insignificant cause was selfish. Today, my decision-making is less impulsive. I put greater thought into what I do because I know what happens to me impacts those around me.
Thanks for reading
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Any suggestions, corrections or advice are appreciated
Also, i wanted to make sure this was applicable to the prompt
Drop Ball
"I found one!" The exquisite orange shell gleamed as the sun reflected off the ice. The tiny, snow-covered crevice near the middle of the pond harbored the prize. I imagined what the trophy would look like when it rested atop my treasure trove. A unique golf ball so rare, that it was the first of its kind to have surfaced upon the frozen pond.
Without a word, Brian and Oleg knew what was racing through my mind. They watched nervously as I crept down the edge of the half-dried, frozen pond and made my way to the edge of the shore.
I rested my foot on the ice, The solid foundation gave me false confidence as I took baby steps toward my target. My pulse was beating as fast as that of a hare being pursued by a wolf. I shuffled frantically, the golf ball was almost within arm's reach. In one brisk movement, I dropped to my knees and reached toward the crevice where the fountain was once displayed. I was so close.
I glanced over my shoulder at the others. I was not too far away from the shore, maybe only eight or 10 feet. I caught the sight of puddles forming throughout the lake. Somehow, the warm breeze sent chills down my spine, perhaps because of what it foreshadowed. Before I could react, a tiny crack in the ice had grown into a massive fault. The look of horror on my friends' faces reflected the fear in my eyes as I plunged into the abyss. Freezing water is supposed to feel like a thousand pins and needles piercing your skin, but this was far worse.
I struggled to keep my head above the surface while I attempted to drag my way to safety. My puffy jacket, saturated with water, became a dead weight as I fought for survival. Attempts to throw my body back onto the ice were futile. It had become too thin and just shattered beneath my weight. As I continued to struggle, I felt a tugging on my left foot. My left shoe was tangled in a conglomerate of seaweed. My next move was an easy but painful choice, I loved my new "Nike Kicks" but my life was more precious. With only one foot I pressed against the ice as my senses began to die. I could hear muffled screams and see blurry images, but could no longer feel the pain. In a final attempt, I reached out and grasped what I thought was the hand of God. It pulled me back to the shore, safe at last. A broken piece of fence offered to me by my friends had done the trick.
After seeing the stress I had caused my parents, my friends and my body, I vowed never to leave myself susceptible to such harm again. I learned that risking my life for such an insignificant cause was selfish. Today, my decision-making is less impulsive. I put greater thought into what I do because I know what happens to me impacts those around me.
Thanks for reading
