Hey guys,
Please critique this essay. I really need to make sure my ideas flow and make sense.
Thanks in advance!
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If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.
From the time I learned the basics of the organ systems of the body in elementary school to my study of Einstein's theories of relativity and the Schrödinger equation earlier this year, I have been captivated by the sciences. There is little more satisfying to me than quenching my intellectual and scientific curiosity. Thus, in pursuing an undergraduate degree, the choice came down to a pure science or engineering. Einstein distinguished science from engineering when he explained, "Scientists investigate that which already is; engineers create that which has never been." I experienced this first hand in numerous Science Olympiad projects since seventh grade, namely constructing robots, building balsawood bridges, designing mousetrap cars, and experimenting with rockets. One year, I led a group of three in building a 1-liter plastic bottle rocket that would carry an egg afloat safely for the longest time. We spent months sitting around a whiteboard, sketching ideas and testing models. Launches were especially thrilling, though Murphy's Law held true. After each nosedive, we returned to the board. Even after we earned a gold medal at the competition, we continued the project into the summer for the sheer exhilaration of exercising our minds. The joy derived from brainstorming innovative ideas and building something of our own shifted the balance in favor of engineering. The engineering projects required not only an understanding of the physics related to a certain task, but also the ability to apply that knowledge toward creating our own solution. These engineering projects were more like art done for pleasure than an assignment for competition.
While I was unsure of my undergraduate pursuit for a long time, I have been determined to attend medical school for a long time. My desire to study medicine has been driven by the desire to tackle challenging diseases. Through my knowledge of the medical field, I realized that combating diseases requires not only an understanding of the biology, but advancement in diagnosis and treatment using applied sciences and innovative ideas. This is essentially the undertaking of engineers. Specifically, biomedical engineering is required, for example, to design the gene delivery system utilized to replace the mutated DNA in cells with properly functioning alleles in order to cure hereditary conditions like muscular dystrophy. Tissue engineering seeks to grow artificial organs by implanting and growing cells onto scaffolds of carbon nanotubes. My desire to pursue a degree in biomedical engineering before attending medical school is appropriate, because the experience and knowledge I obtain will be invaluable in my approach to medical research, development, diagnosis, and treatment. I will be able to see each obstacle from various perspectives and combine the distinct studies towards a solution.
Duke is the most rewarding setting to further my goals. The Pratt School of Engineering offers one of the best programs in biomedical engineering. The research and biomedical advancements at Duke are especially groundbreaking, such as the development of a new nano-scale chemotherapy delivery system, a tiny three-dimensional ultrasound probe, and autonomous robots to detect shrapnel and biopsy cancerous masses. Educational and research opportunities at Duke provide valuable experiences. However, in choosing a branch of study, I did not want to limit myself to just medicine. In fact, some of my favorite classes in high school were AP Economics, AP U.S. History, and Physics. Duke offers strong programs, enthusiastic professors, and intellectual challenges in all branches of study. As an engineering student at Duke, I can expand my horizons and pursue a double major or certificate in another field. Duke does not force me to limit myself intellectually nor academically, and the educational experience will give me an advantage in gaining admission into a top medical school.
Please critique this essay. I really need to make sure my ideas flow and make sense.
Thanks in advance!
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------
If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.
From the time I learned the basics of the organ systems of the body in elementary school to my study of Einstein's theories of relativity and the Schrödinger equation earlier this year, I have been captivated by the sciences. There is little more satisfying to me than quenching my intellectual and scientific curiosity. Thus, in pursuing an undergraduate degree, the choice came down to a pure science or engineering. Einstein distinguished science from engineering when he explained, "Scientists investigate that which already is; engineers create that which has never been." I experienced this first hand in numerous Science Olympiad projects since seventh grade, namely constructing robots, building balsawood bridges, designing mousetrap cars, and experimenting with rockets. One year, I led a group of three in building a 1-liter plastic bottle rocket that would carry an egg afloat safely for the longest time. We spent months sitting around a whiteboard, sketching ideas and testing models. Launches were especially thrilling, though Murphy's Law held true. After each nosedive, we returned to the board. Even after we earned a gold medal at the competition, we continued the project into the summer for the sheer exhilaration of exercising our minds. The joy derived from brainstorming innovative ideas and building something of our own shifted the balance in favor of engineering. The engineering projects required not only an understanding of the physics related to a certain task, but also the ability to apply that knowledge toward creating our own solution. These engineering projects were more like art done for pleasure than an assignment for competition.
While I was unsure of my undergraduate pursuit for a long time, I have been determined to attend medical school for a long time. My desire to study medicine has been driven by the desire to tackle challenging diseases. Through my knowledge of the medical field, I realized that combating diseases requires not only an understanding of the biology, but advancement in diagnosis and treatment using applied sciences and innovative ideas. This is essentially the undertaking of engineers. Specifically, biomedical engineering is required, for example, to design the gene delivery system utilized to replace the mutated DNA in cells with properly functioning alleles in order to cure hereditary conditions like muscular dystrophy. Tissue engineering seeks to grow artificial organs by implanting and growing cells onto scaffolds of carbon nanotubes. My desire to pursue a degree in biomedical engineering before attending medical school is appropriate, because the experience and knowledge I obtain will be invaluable in my approach to medical research, development, diagnosis, and treatment. I will be able to see each obstacle from various perspectives and combine the distinct studies towards a solution.
Duke is the most rewarding setting to further my goals. The Pratt School of Engineering offers one of the best programs in biomedical engineering. The research and biomedical advancements at Duke are especially groundbreaking, such as the development of a new nano-scale chemotherapy delivery system, a tiny three-dimensional ultrasound probe, and autonomous robots to detect shrapnel and biopsy cancerous masses. Educational and research opportunities at Duke provide valuable experiences. However, in choosing a branch of study, I did not want to limit myself to just medicine. In fact, some of my favorite classes in high school were AP Economics, AP U.S. History, and Physics. Duke offers strong programs, enthusiastic professors, and intellectual challenges in all branches of study. As an engineering student at Duke, I can expand my horizons and pursue a double major or certificate in another field. Duke does not force me to limit myself intellectually nor academically, and the educational experience will give me an advantage in gaining admission into a top medical school.