I'm doing the CA essay with the topic on telling my background or story that is central to my identity. I haven't figured out the entire essay yet, but I just wanted to get critique on the very first paragraph. Just for general info, I think I am going to write on how I've always been taught to value small things, even when I lived in India, and how that's stuck with me all my years even in America.
Alright, so here it is:
She dyed her hair red for Christmas because her parents didn't care, and she was old enough to do so. Her friend got another pair of hundred dollar Ugg boots, to add to add to her collection of five. I'd been in America for 3 years, and sitting next to them wearing 10 dollar Payless flats, I already felt like an outsider.
(basically going to continue with how this stuff mattered a lot to me then, but how my perspectives have changed, etc.)
Alright, so here it is:
She dyed her hair red for Christmas because her parents didn't care, and she was old enough to do so. Her friend got another pair of hundred dollar Ugg boots, to add to add to her collection of five. I'd been in America for 3 years, and sitting next to them wearing 10 dollar Payless flats, I already felt like an outsider.
(basically going to continue with how this stuff mattered a lot to me then, but how my perspectives have changed, etc.)
