Hey, I'm a senior applying through the common app to UNC, Duke, and some other NC schools. Please be brutal in editing my essay; it's a very rough draft!
Topic: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
"We had to move where?!" I shrieked, as I heard my parents tell me that we were moving to North Carolina; it was certainly not a response that my parents had expected. But in that instant I knew I was living in a true nightmare. I had resided in the sunny southern chunk of California for 9 years and the state of North Carolina was about as distant to me as Alaska. I had never heard of any madly significant things about North Carolina before; I only thought of it as a drive by state that most neglect. I didn't want to leave my friends and move to a place where I knew no one. Nevertheless, my parents had made their decision and despite my continuous efforts of begging them not to, we had to move. We got in our white Toyota minivan one breezy December morning, preparing to drive cross country for our move; I wasn't even slightly excited. My enthusiastic elementary-aged sister made jokes as we passed by the midwest and I remained as sullen as I was when I first heard the depressing news. As the west coast started disappearing and the states grew smaller and denser, I found myself feeling more apprehensive. I had nonsensical what-ifs in my mind; what if I forgot how to talk, what if I made no friends, what if I hated the place where we lived? The whole process of moving was challenging for me, a spoiled, timid 7th grade girl who only wanted the comforts in life and could not stand difficulties of any kind. But, as the move from the sunny California suburbs to the humid rurality of North Carolina was sealed, I had to deal with it. It was my parents' decision and we had arrived in North Carolina; there was nothing else I could do.
In addition to the horrendous move, our living area changed drastically. We were going to be living in a hotel so my dad could do his hotel-managing job in relative proximity. I started school and was surprised by the weird dialects and the y'all's and aint's. North Carolina and its people were so unfamiliar. Where in California, a Starbucks and a mega-mall were just around the corner, in North Carolina, we had to drive 30 minutes for the nearest Walmart. There were dry mountains and valleys in California and flat, tree-filled areas here. It took me by extreme astonishment that a single country had two entirely different coasts. Though it took a while for me to come out of my culture shock and start making friends, I realized that I liked this small state on the East Coast better than California. Why, you may ask?
In retrospect, I learned that I needed this move; this didn't become apparent to me overnight. Over the next five years, I realized that moving here had helped me grow more accustomed to the little issues in life I may not have been used to in California. I got everything I wanted there: Disneyland and the beach were two hours away, and mega-malls were merely 15 minutes away. A move to the down-to-earth state of North Carolina was exactly what I needed for my privileged urban brain; I learned that you can't always get what you want. The move helped me learn that I shouldn't be afraid of trying something new because sometimes the most initially unexpected and unpleasant things become the most positive events of your life. I learned how to take care of my younger sister when my parents went to work and I became more responsible. Most importantly, I found that changes aren't something I should be scared of, it should be something I should embrace and prepare for, because life is all about changes, and college is my next big change.
Topic: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
"We had to move where?!" I shrieked, as I heard my parents tell me that we were moving to North Carolina; it was certainly not a response that my parents had expected. But in that instant I knew I was living in a true nightmare. I had resided in the sunny southern chunk of California for 9 years and the state of North Carolina was about as distant to me as Alaska. I had never heard of any madly significant things about North Carolina before; I only thought of it as a drive by state that most neglect. I didn't want to leave my friends and move to a place where I knew no one. Nevertheless, my parents had made their decision and despite my continuous efforts of begging them not to, we had to move. We got in our white Toyota minivan one breezy December morning, preparing to drive cross country for our move; I wasn't even slightly excited. My enthusiastic elementary-aged sister made jokes as we passed by the midwest and I remained as sullen as I was when I first heard the depressing news. As the west coast started disappearing and the states grew smaller and denser, I found myself feeling more apprehensive. I had nonsensical what-ifs in my mind; what if I forgot how to talk, what if I made no friends, what if I hated the place where we lived? The whole process of moving was challenging for me, a spoiled, timid 7th grade girl who only wanted the comforts in life and could not stand difficulties of any kind. But, as the move from the sunny California suburbs to the humid rurality of North Carolina was sealed, I had to deal with it. It was my parents' decision and we had arrived in North Carolina; there was nothing else I could do.
In addition to the horrendous move, our living area changed drastically. We were going to be living in a hotel so my dad could do his hotel-managing job in relative proximity. I started school and was surprised by the weird dialects and the y'all's and aint's. North Carolina and its people were so unfamiliar. Where in California, a Starbucks and a mega-mall were just around the corner, in North Carolina, we had to drive 30 minutes for the nearest Walmart. There were dry mountains and valleys in California and flat, tree-filled areas here. It took me by extreme astonishment that a single country had two entirely different coasts. Though it took a while for me to come out of my culture shock and start making friends, I realized that I liked this small state on the East Coast better than California. Why, you may ask?
In retrospect, I learned that I needed this move; this didn't become apparent to me overnight. Over the next five years, I realized that moving here had helped me grow more accustomed to the little issues in life I may not have been used to in California. I got everything I wanted there: Disneyland and the beach were two hours away, and mega-malls were merely 15 minutes away. A move to the down-to-earth state of North Carolina was exactly what I needed for my privileged urban brain; I learned that you can't always get what you want. The move helped me learn that I shouldn't be afraid of trying something new because sometimes the most initially unexpected and unpleasant things become the most positive events of your life. I learned how to take care of my younger sister when my parents went to work and I became more responsible. Most importantly, I found that changes aren't something I should be scared of, it should be something I should embrace and prepare for, because life is all about changes, and college is my next big change.
