I chose Topic A:Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
My hand slipped from the marble edge, my vision became cloudy, and my desperate cries were suffocated by the water. Who knew being "it" for a game of Marco Polo was going to almost drown me. I kicked, I splashed, I screamed for help, and when my struggling body was about to go exhaustingly numb, I was saved. Not by a nonexistent lifeguard, my group of friends nearby, or even the birthday girl's unconvinced mother; but by a fair-skinned, young woman with ebony hair. After rescuing me, she sat me down on the edge of the pool, while a small group of familiar faces surrounded me. Rivers of tears streamed down my rosy-red round cheeks, as I tried to grasp my breath through the heavy sobs and inflamed coughs. She softly asked me, "Are you okay?" I couldn't remember if I nodded or replied back because everything was a blur. However, I distinctively remembered the Birthday Girl's mother saying, "Honey," with a surprised laugh, "I thought you were just kidding!" along with my friends agreeing.
8 years later and I still feel incredibly grateful towards this stranger. I never learned her name, I forgot what her face looked like, and I didn't even get to thank her, because I was so shaken up at the time. But I'll never forget the action she took for me when nobody else moved a muscle. While others thought I was just some silly 10 year-old playing victim, instead, from the other side of the apartment complexes' swimming pool, this one random woman saw something different. I can't even imagine what would've happened to me that summer afternoon, if it weren't for her.
Everyone had that one childhood figure that once made their eyes twinkle, their words left in awe, and along a package of small obsession. Whether it was the faster-than-a-bullet comic book Superman, the All-Star Quarterback from that so-called team, or the famous Singer who you swore has the gift; the praising words, "You're my hero," is thrown around. In the end, however, those 'heroes' become seen at a dimmer light because the impact, if there was any in the first place, that was once made, is forgotten. Yet any true hero, like the Ebony-haired stranger, never loses its shine.
- spelling
- punctuation/fragments
- essay itself
- any advice/suggestions is highly needed :)
My hand slipped from the marble edge, my vision became cloudy, and my desperate cries were suffocated by the water. Who knew being "it" for a game of Marco Polo was going to almost drown me. I kicked, I splashed, I screamed for help, and when my struggling body was about to go exhaustingly numb, I was saved. Not by a nonexistent lifeguard, my group of friends nearby, or even the birthday girl's unconvinced mother; but by a fair-skinned, young woman with ebony hair. After rescuing me, she sat me down on the edge of the pool, while a small group of familiar faces surrounded me. Rivers of tears streamed down my rosy-red round cheeks, as I tried to grasp my breath through the heavy sobs and inflamed coughs. She softly asked me, "Are you okay?" I couldn't remember if I nodded or replied back because everything was a blur. However, I distinctively remembered the Birthday Girl's mother saying, "Honey," with a surprised laugh, "I thought you were just kidding!" along with my friends agreeing.
8 years later and I still feel incredibly grateful towards this stranger. I never learned her name, I forgot what her face looked like, and I didn't even get to thank her, because I was so shaken up at the time. But I'll never forget the action she took for me when nobody else moved a muscle. While others thought I was just some silly 10 year-old playing victim, instead, from the other side of the apartment complexes' swimming pool, this one random woman saw something different. I can't even imagine what would've happened to me that summer afternoon, if it weren't for her.
Everyone had that one childhood figure that once made their eyes twinkle, their words left in awe, and along a package of small obsession. Whether it was the faster-than-a-bullet comic book Superman, the All-Star Quarterback from that so-called team, or the famous Singer who you swore has the gift; the praising words, "You're my hero," is thrown around. In the end, however, those 'heroes' become seen at a dimmer light because the impact, if there was any in the first place, that was once made, is forgotten. Yet any true hero, like the Ebony-haired stranger, never loses its shine.
- spelling
- punctuation/fragments
- essay itself
- any advice/suggestions is highly needed :)
