Hello,
this is essay for University of Pennsylvania
I used my internship at my father's company to answer the question
but am worried that it is not specific and touching..
Could you please leave some comments on my essay?
Thanks!
Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn? (Max.250 words)
Since I was 16, I worked at my father's company because I was engrossed in economics and business and wanted to experience the real world problems. Although I earned many things through arranging financial and trade documents, I felt gloomy looking at my father who had to dismiss some employees due to economic depression. Recollecting my father's tears, I promised myself to become a world-renowned economist and rescue the world from slump.
Considering this, I feel University of Pennsylvania is the perfect place. Its Economics Department, located in the School of Arts and Sciences, ranked among the top ten in the U.S, offers rigorous academic and aims to "improve the analytical capacity and literacy in economics," which I was definitely looking for. I also feel thrilled with Pennsylvania's picturesque campus in the heart of Philadelphia, its lively city, and substantial investment to make better community. At there, I won't be disrupted by noise or brawl and can focus on strong academic foundation established by Benjamin Franklin.
At the University of Pennsylvania, I am ready to devote myself into economics research and study. Although the process of finding remedy for stagnation requires a great amount of perspiration and perseverance, I will certainly dedicate myself to get answers. I feel University of Pennsylvania can guide me to achieve my goal. My promise of finding a solution to economic downturn will never be abated until I dissipate my father's frowned face and wipe his tears by reviving his company and further out, the entire world.
this is essay for University of Pennsylvania
I used my internship at my father's company to answer the question
but am worried that it is not specific and touching..
Could you please leave some comments on my essay?
Thanks!
Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn? (Max.250 words)
Since I was 16, I worked at my father's company because I was engrossed in economics and business and wanted to experience the real world problems. Although I earned many things through arranging financial and trade documents, I felt gloomy looking at my father who had to dismiss some employees due to economic depression. Recollecting my father's tears, I promised myself to become a world-renowned economist and rescue the world from slump.
Considering this, I feel University of Pennsylvania is the perfect place. Its Economics Department, located in the School of Arts and Sciences, ranked among the top ten in the U.S, offers rigorous academic and aims to "improve the analytical capacity and literacy in economics," which I was definitely looking for. I also feel thrilled with Pennsylvania's picturesque campus in the heart of Philadelphia, its lively city, and substantial investment to make better community. At there, I won't be disrupted by noise or brawl and can focus on strong academic foundation established by Benjamin Franklin.
At the University of Pennsylvania, I am ready to devote myself into economics research and study. Although the process of finding remedy for stagnation requires a great amount of perspiration and perseverance, I will certainly dedicate myself to get answers. I feel University of Pennsylvania can guide me to achieve my goal. My promise of finding a solution to economic downturn will never be abated until I dissipate my father's frowned face and wipe his tears by reviving his company and further out, the entire world.
