Hello, I am new to this community - stumbled upon it when searching for essay advice, so I figured I'd see what it has to offer. The essay prompt below is for the Common app. Transfer students.
(Just a disclosure to avoid confusion with the prompt. I am specifically citing Colorado college in this instance, even though the prompt is generalized. I have decided to write college specific essays, in addition to their supplements, to aid more weight to the application. However, if this method seems redundant or repetitive please let me know and I can make it more general.)
Prompt: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.:
A hot gust of air washes over me as I step from the jet. It is damp, wet, the smell of gasoline. I pull my hand-me-down carry on behind me, walking down the long, uninviting corridor to the terminal. Up ahead the honeymoon jabber of a large scantily dressed woman echoes through the tunnel. Eventually we disperse, going our separate ways, wearily disappearing down walkways and stairwells. It is late, maybe around midnight at night at O'Hare - with Italy left thousands of miles behind.
"Sir - are you all right?" a firm voice asks, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I must have been standing in vacant waiting area for some time, for the security officer carried a concerned expression.
"Yes," I reply, taking a deep breath, "yes, I am returning to the conservatory." I tighten my grip on the luggage. I feel like I am going to jail.
All my life I have spent growing in the metropolis, I am proud Chicagoan. Being a "city kid" means rough public schools, a sixth sense of street smarts, and more Jacks, asphalt and street ball than "Cowboys and Indians." I grew up fast, learned of the world even faster, and somewhere along the way acquired a voracious curiosity; ever since it has been my best companion.
Curiosity took me to music school for opera training - no hesitation, no second thoughts, no looking back. Soon I found myself on the other side of the world. Urbania, Italy to be exact, a quintessential Italian village nestled in rolling foothills blanketed with sunflowers as far as the eye can see. Here I realized, between a glass of sensual red wine and a breathtaking view, my interests are not limited to music. I realized, in fact, that I long to study culture; from Roman history to Middle-East politics, Romantic languages to German philosophers - and of course music of the world, all composing the way the world ticks.
However, conservatories of music cannot provide this, nor the atmosphere for such curiosity to thrive. Now I seek a unique community to explore my diverse worldly interests. I strive to be surrounded by motivated individuals from all aspects of life, fostering a creative, passionate and inspirational learning experience. Whether over a discussion of Italian literature, or an analysis of Beethoven's fifth, I yearn for a setting where my own originality can contribute, and bring my distinct ideas to the table.
This is why I wish to transfer to Colorado College; the intensive education approach exactly matches my ambitions. Hours upon hours of adventure spent exploring one topic. Small class sizes with one-on-one relationships with professors. A student body excited about knowledge. But more importantly, it promotes a community of critical thinkers, not afraid to question, debate, and learn, both in and out of the classroom.
I now understand why returning to music school in Chicago fells akin to prison, because my curiosity is stifled. However, at Colorado College my passion for discovering this world will flourish. Through this, I will achieve a holistic understanding of humanity; an understanding that will create, innovate, and change the world.
Thank you for reading, any and all comments/criticisms are welcome and very much appreciated.
(This work is copyrighted, please do not use any text of the essay/the essay itself in your own application)
(Just a disclosure to avoid confusion with the prompt. I am specifically citing Colorado college in this instance, even though the prompt is generalized. I have decided to write college specific essays, in addition to their supplements, to aid more weight to the application. However, if this method seems redundant or repetitive please let me know and I can make it more general.)
Prompt: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.:
A hot gust of air washes over me as I step from the jet. It is damp, wet, the smell of gasoline. I pull my hand-me-down carry on behind me, walking down the long, uninviting corridor to the terminal. Up ahead the honeymoon jabber of a large scantily dressed woman echoes through the tunnel. Eventually we disperse, going our separate ways, wearily disappearing down walkways and stairwells. It is late, maybe around midnight at night at O'Hare - with Italy left thousands of miles behind.
"Sir - are you all right?" a firm voice asks, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I must have been standing in vacant waiting area for some time, for the security officer carried a concerned expression.
"Yes," I reply, taking a deep breath, "yes, I am returning to the conservatory." I tighten my grip on the luggage. I feel like I am going to jail.
All my life I have spent growing in the metropolis, I am proud Chicagoan. Being a "city kid" means rough public schools, a sixth sense of street smarts, and more Jacks, asphalt and street ball than "Cowboys and Indians." I grew up fast, learned of the world even faster, and somewhere along the way acquired a voracious curiosity; ever since it has been my best companion.
Curiosity took me to music school for opera training - no hesitation, no second thoughts, no looking back. Soon I found myself on the other side of the world. Urbania, Italy to be exact, a quintessential Italian village nestled in rolling foothills blanketed with sunflowers as far as the eye can see. Here I realized, between a glass of sensual red wine and a breathtaking view, my interests are not limited to music. I realized, in fact, that I long to study culture; from Roman history to Middle-East politics, Romantic languages to German philosophers - and of course music of the world, all composing the way the world ticks.
However, conservatories of music cannot provide this, nor the atmosphere for such curiosity to thrive. Now I seek a unique community to explore my diverse worldly interests. I strive to be surrounded by motivated individuals from all aspects of life, fostering a creative, passionate and inspirational learning experience. Whether over a discussion of Italian literature, or an analysis of Beethoven's fifth, I yearn for a setting where my own originality can contribute, and bring my distinct ideas to the table.
This is why I wish to transfer to Colorado College; the intensive education approach exactly matches my ambitions. Hours upon hours of adventure spent exploring one topic. Small class sizes with one-on-one relationships with professors. A student body excited about knowledge. But more importantly, it promotes a community of critical thinkers, not afraid to question, debate, and learn, both in and out of the classroom.
I now understand why returning to music school in Chicago fells akin to prison, because my curiosity is stifled. However, at Colorado College my passion for discovering this world will flourish. Through this, I will achieve a holistic understanding of humanity; an understanding that will create, innovate, and change the world.
Thank you for reading, any and all comments/criticisms are welcome and very much appreciated.
(This work is copyrighted, please do not use any text of the essay/the essay itself in your own application)
