"education and community" Why Columbia Short Answer Essay

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why:

I consider both education and community to be the primary criteria in determining my ideal university; in my opinion, Columbia is the manifestation of this ideal, with its unparalleled Core Curriculum and its diverse and integrated student body. I cannot help but be drawn to the tactfully-designed Core because it satisfies my standards for the perfect liberal education and it provides me with the academic challenge that I have sought for so long. I cannot wait to begin my studies at Columbia immersed into the thought-provoking tales told by Homer, the father of epic poetry, while taking pleasure in the sciences as part of the broad curriculum that is offered at Columbia. I have no doubt that my experience learning in the Core Curriculum will be greatly augmented by the diversified student body, as the multicultural environment will provoke various unprecedented and intriguing viewpoints. Being in an international school, I have had firsthand experience dealing with culturally-distinct individuals, and it is through our heated discussions that I am able to develop completely new perspectives on certain issues. I am excited to say the least at the prospects of being included in Columbia University. Not only will I receive the well-rounded and rigorous education that I have sought for my entire high school life, but I will also be exposed to a diverse cultural center that fosters fresh, global perspectives.

[1427/1500 characters]

Suggestions are greatly appreciated!

from experience try to cut some of the sentences short because a million and two people are going to send essays that make them "seem" more educated than they are, my aunt being an essay reader for the UC system often tells me how she and other essay readers get tired of reading the same thing and they dubbed all the essays big macs because they all come the same. in all the essay is great because its embodies what you expect out of their school and what you want to get by attending their, so just tweek the essay a little.

I consider both education and community to be the primary criteria in determining my ideal university---These 2 are too simple. I think each noun needs an adjective to make your intro distinct:

I consider both (adjective) education and (adjective) community to be...--Do you know what I mean? You should sharpen up the presentation by letting this sentence carry the general meaning that is to follow. What type of education is the type you want? (i.e. it should reflect your plans and interests pertaining to your chosen field.)

the primary criteria in determining my ideal university; in my opinion... All this is gobbledegook. It does not actually say anything about your vision for the future, your specific purpose that motivates you.

and it is through our heated discussions that I am able to develop completely new perspectives on certain issues.----Certain issues. You should not be vague. You should be specific and bold as you explain your plan.

:-)