Alright, yet another portion of writing that needs editing/feedback. Please be as honest and brutal as possible! And if it matters, I am a prospective Sociology major applying to USC.
2. I didn't attend ASU during the Spring 2011 semester because of two chief reasons. My financial aid was delayed for so long that I couldn't attend any classes for that semester. I decided to deal with this interruption in my educational career constructively and I accompanied my expatriate father to Angola. During this time, I was immersed in a fusion of Portuguese and Central African culture. I stayed in Luanda, a city where poverty and privilege existed in close proximity together. Even though we lived in the richer part of town, I still saw many examples of poverty and destitute on the city streets. I frequently ran into children as young as 10 operating boats and driving taxis. With the help of a guide, I managed to have conversations about their plight, their fears and their lives. These engaging conversations made me appreciate how fortunate I was to live in America, where opportunity is plentiful. Even after I stumbled in my earlier educational years, I am given ample opportunity to redeem, challenge, and engage myself. Although I felt that the short time I spent there wasn't nearly long enough, it affected me positively and I have renewed dedication to both aiding those in need and realizing my full potential, if only for those who don't have that chance.
2. I didn't attend ASU during the Spring 2011 semester because of two chief reasons. My financial aid was delayed for so long that I couldn't attend any classes for that semester. I decided to deal with this interruption in my educational career constructively and I accompanied my expatriate father to Angola. During this time, I was immersed in a fusion of Portuguese and Central African culture. I stayed in Luanda, a city where poverty and privilege existed in close proximity together. Even though we lived in the richer part of town, I still saw many examples of poverty and destitute on the city streets. I frequently ran into children as young as 10 operating boats and driving taxis. With the help of a guide, I managed to have conversations about their plight, their fears and their lives. These engaging conversations made me appreciate how fortunate I was to live in America, where opportunity is plentiful. Even after I stumbled in my earlier educational years, I am given ample opportunity to redeem, challenge, and engage myself. Although I felt that the short time I spent there wasn't nearly long enough, it affected me positively and I have renewed dedication to both aiding those in need and realizing my full potential, if only for those who don't have that chance.