Hello all, this is a rough draft of the short response question on the common app: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.
Any feedback, regarding grammar, content, or other thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
The curtain parts and I take a single step forward as my name blares from fifty speakers and resounds through the crowded auditorium. Five hundred pairs of eyes follow me across the stage. I come to a halt and survey my expectant audience for a moment that seems like an eternity. The incessant beating of my heart drowns out the unintelligible murmurs of the crowd, its volume rising until it is deafening.
And then, I begin.
My voice begins as a whisper, barely reaching the nearest rows of the enormous amphitheater. But then, slowly, it gains strength, surging forth in waves, echoing off walls, resonating through the air, and flooding every corner of the auditorium with sound. Five hundred pairs of eyes watch, transfixed.
I took up public speaking in seventh grade in an effort to overcome the fear that enveloped me every time I gave a presentation to my class. I suffered many a nervous breakdown in the early phases of my speaking career, but, as I continued to force myself to attend speech club and compete in speech and debate tournaments, I gained confidence and skill that allowed me to win state titles in public speaking, and, in this case, present speeches to organizations like the Oregon Teachers Union. I have grown to love public speaking and, as president of the Speech and Debate Team, have made it my mission to impart my passion for elocution on other young minds.
I finish my final sentence and take a bow, but the crowd remains mesmerized for a long moment, until a single "clap" is heard somewhere in the audience. At once, the spell is broken. Applause.
I appreciate your time and suggestions. :)
Kareem
Any feedback, regarding grammar, content, or other thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
The curtain parts and I take a single step forward as my name blares from fifty speakers and resounds through the crowded auditorium. Five hundred pairs of eyes follow me across the stage. I come to a halt and survey my expectant audience for a moment that seems like an eternity. The incessant beating of my heart drowns out the unintelligible murmurs of the crowd, its volume rising until it is deafening.
And then, I begin.
My voice begins as a whisper, barely reaching the nearest rows of the enormous amphitheater. But then, slowly, it gains strength, surging forth in waves, echoing off walls, resonating through the air, and flooding every corner of the auditorium with sound. Five hundred pairs of eyes watch, transfixed.
I took up public speaking in seventh grade in an effort to overcome the fear that enveloped me every time I gave a presentation to my class. I suffered many a nervous breakdown in the early phases of my speaking career, but, as I continued to force myself to attend speech club and compete in speech and debate tournaments, I gained confidence and skill that allowed me to win state titles in public speaking, and, in this case, present speeches to organizations like the Oregon Teachers Union. I have grown to love public speaking and, as president of the Speech and Debate Team, have made it my mission to impart my passion for elocution on other young minds.
I finish my final sentence and take a bow, but the crowd remains mesmerized for a long moment, until a single "clap" is heard somewhere in the audience. At once, the spell is broken. Applause.
I appreciate your time and suggestions. :)
Kareem
