Hey, this is my Cornell supplement essay and I'm not sure if I sound like I really want to go to Cornell through this essay! I just need some really honest feedback please!!
Prompt: How have your interests and experiences influenced your selection of major (biological sciences)?
A few years ago, an unexpected encounter with a jellyfish altered the course of my life. During summer break freshman year, I was stung by a mysterious presence in the water while swimming in Busan's Haeundae Beach. The culprit was none other than the notorious Irukandji jellyfish, weighing less than an ounce. The poison from the tentacles spread throughout my legs, causing lingering and excruciating pain. Crying out all my hopes of seeing another day, I had never before experienced such torturing headaches or burns on my skin.
In less than an hour, I was hospitalized, injected with antibodies, antivenoms and other anti-something fluids to ease the unrelenting pain. What scared me most was not the unprecedented agony I was in, but the fact that there was no cure for Irukandji symptoms, which are caused by several species of unidentified bacteria. After three days of alleviation, the symptoms never reappeared and I, a scared little boy, was able to go home.
Ever since I was 5, my interests were deeply rooted in biology. I loved science because it was tidy, neat; I loved having weighty tomes of science subjects to rely on when I had my indiscriminating curiosities. But after the jelly sting when I saw the doctor's expression of helplessness, my mind panicked but also plunged into a new realm of thoughts, ideas of microscopic worlds of unknown organisms that may hold the key to new diseases or cures. I was suddenly trying to contemplate the billions of organisms on my skin, identified and unidentified, and the limitless possibilities of existing forms of life that have yet to be discovered. The experience, caused by a small sting, ignited a passion for searching out the unknown and gave me an innovating outlook more expansive than the 5 year-old could ever imagine.
My enthusiasm was only bolstered when my mother was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. Realizing the potential fate of my mother, I want to research what causes the tumors in her gastrointestinal tract and how they could be safely removed. I know the unimaginable pain and hardships my mother endures, and I believe that no one's life should be hampered by such tragedy. So I wish to find answers for diseases at the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences where students can participate in cutting edge research under faculty advisors and the best microbiologists, veterinarians, and biomedical engineers in the nation. I'm young and without experience, but I am eager to assist Cornell's faculty members like Professor John Schimenti and his research in cancer genetics and mechanisms of mice genome.
Although my interests over the years have varied from researching diseases to studying herpetology, I am convinced that this path into biology is where I can contribute the most, increasing human knowledge for the betterment of society. Uncertain of my specific career choice, I believe that Cornell University's undergraduate education will be a diving board of my interests and can lead me onto many exciting paths in the different fields of biology, as supported by Ezra Cornell when he first founded the university: "I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study." It is my yearning to have more chances to study biology, and the research opportunities and the rigorous science classes at Cornell University satisfy my desire for that kind of learning.
Prompt: How have your interests and experiences influenced your selection of major (biological sciences)?
A few years ago, an unexpected encounter with a jellyfish altered the course of my life. During summer break freshman year, I was stung by a mysterious presence in the water while swimming in Busan's Haeundae Beach. The culprit was none other than the notorious Irukandji jellyfish, weighing less than an ounce. The poison from the tentacles spread throughout my legs, causing lingering and excruciating pain. Crying out all my hopes of seeing another day, I had never before experienced such torturing headaches or burns on my skin.
In less than an hour, I was hospitalized, injected with antibodies, antivenoms and other anti-something fluids to ease the unrelenting pain. What scared me most was not the unprecedented agony I was in, but the fact that there was no cure for Irukandji symptoms, which are caused by several species of unidentified bacteria. After three days of alleviation, the symptoms never reappeared and I, a scared little boy, was able to go home.
Ever since I was 5, my interests were deeply rooted in biology. I loved science because it was tidy, neat; I loved having weighty tomes of science subjects to rely on when I had my indiscriminating curiosities. But after the jelly sting when I saw the doctor's expression of helplessness, my mind panicked but also plunged into a new realm of thoughts, ideas of microscopic worlds of unknown organisms that may hold the key to new diseases or cures. I was suddenly trying to contemplate the billions of organisms on my skin, identified and unidentified, and the limitless possibilities of existing forms of life that have yet to be discovered. The experience, caused by a small sting, ignited a passion for searching out the unknown and gave me an innovating outlook more expansive than the 5 year-old could ever imagine.
My enthusiasm was only bolstered when my mother was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. Realizing the potential fate of my mother, I want to research what causes the tumors in her gastrointestinal tract and how they could be safely removed. I know the unimaginable pain and hardships my mother endures, and I believe that no one's life should be hampered by such tragedy. So I wish to find answers for diseases at the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences where students can participate in cutting edge research under faculty advisors and the best microbiologists, veterinarians, and biomedical engineers in the nation. I'm young and without experience, but I am eager to assist Cornell's faculty members like Professor John Schimenti and his research in cancer genetics and mechanisms of mice genome.
Although my interests over the years have varied from researching diseases to studying herpetology, I am convinced that this path into biology is where I can contribute the most, increasing human knowledge for the betterment of society. Uncertain of my specific career choice, I believe that Cornell University's undergraduate education will be a diving board of my interests and can lead me onto many exciting paths in the different fields of biology, as supported by Ezra Cornell when he first founded the university: "I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study." It is my yearning to have more chances to study biology, and the research opportunities and the rigorous science classes at Cornell University satisfy my desire for that kind of learning.