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Engineering Ambition; UIUC-Transfer Motivation/Academic Interests/Professional Goals



kid2512 1 / 1  
Jan 22, 2013   #1
In an essay of 300 words or less, explain your motivation to transfer from your current/former institution to Illinois and how your academic interests and/or professional goals will be fulfilled in your intended program of study

Since I was in high school in Vietnam, I have always been intrigued by the application of math in every corner of life. From then, I have decided that pursuing a higher education in Mathematics would be ideal. I would also dream of having my college experience in the US, a country famous for its education system.

Two years ago, I made that dream come true. Moving to the States after high school, I chose Northeastern Illinois University to be my starting point. Although entering the school as an undecided major, I initially had my mind set towards Applied Mathematics. However, during my sophomore year, Physics I and II helped me identify my true passion. I was not only impressed by the relation between Mathematics and Physics, but also the work of an engineer to use them real-life applications. Understanding how things work put a smile on my face. I especially enjoyed exploring the world of electronics and computer. I started asking myself how devices such as smartphone, GPS or computer work. I then wanted to learn the language of programming and began to have a strong desire to design my own device. From that moment, I knew that Electrical Engineering would be an excellent choice for me.

Unfortunately, NEIU doesn't share my ambition since it doesn't have an engineering program. With world-class facilities and environment, I believe that the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign will help me fulfill my dream. The engineering program at UIUC, needless to say, is one of the best across the country. As my thirst for knowledge in the field of Electrical Engineering grows, I hope to become a part of that community. Utilizing skills learned in class, I will continue my passion to contribute to the advance in technology as well as our society.

(300 words count)

I'm an international student and I'm not really good at writing an essay. Please criticize my essay hard! I appreciate all feedback about grammar/word choice/structure/idea... Thanks a lot guys!

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 22, 2013   #2
From then, I have decided that pursuing a higher education in Mathematics would be ideal. I would also dream of having my college experience in the US, a country famous for its education system.

From then I began to feel that pursuing a higher education in Mathematics would be the ideal option for me. I also dreamed of having this experience in the US, in its vibrant education system.

Although entering the school as an undecided major, I initially had my mind set towards Applied Mathematics.

this sentence is bit confusing :( What do you mean by "as an undecided major"? .... I guess you better re-phrase this part :)

, but also the work of an engineer to use them real-life applications.

but also the facets of engineering that make them applicable in real-life.
OP kid2512 1 / 1  
Jan 22, 2013   #3
Wow, thanks a lot! Now that I re-read it again, it really doesn't make sense :(
Do you have any comment regarding the idea of the essay though?


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