Why engineering? My application to the University of Waterloo (Admission Information Form)

Briefly explain why you are interested in engineering and particularly in the program to which you have applied.

Comment, for example, on your interests and abilities; your career goals; exposure to engineering through school-related and other experiences; and discussions you have had with engineers, teachers, current or past Waterloo students. (900 character limit)

As a child, I would walk hand in hand with my grandpa over the red sand of our family home. I would always take care to walk at his pace, pausing for unneeded rest whenever he did. He would tell me stories of his life, his childhood, even his short-lived political ambitions. One topic he strayed from, however, was that of his injury. But that didn't matter. My six-year-old mind already fantasized about restoring my beloved grandpa's full mobility. Until he passed away in 2013, leaving behind a little boy obsessed with human movement. Later on, I would thrive in dance and drama, attempting to master my own. But it was my Year 10 biology teacher who altered my perception. He told my class, "The human body is merely a complex organic machine." That was the eureka moment. We can fabricate, repair and improve machines every day. With biomedical engineering, we can achieve that with humans. Restore lost function. Perhaps even perfect it.

NB: this is almost 50 characters too long. could someone pls trim the fat and provide some feedback. thnx.

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The response that you have provided does nto appropriately touch on the prompt requirements. This presentation is more of a nostalgic look back on your relationship with your grandfather and how his death affected you. It does not clearly state, in short form how your interest in a specific engineering field developed, what your career goals are, your related early exposure to engineering, and who your engineering influences are.

This written interview needs to be full of highlights rather than reminiscing.It has to reveal how you have prepared your fundation to succeed in this course, leading up to an engineering ambition to be realized upon your graduation. This presentation is personal, but not applicable since it does not provide a complete reference to the reviewer required considerations.

Yes, as Holt mentioned above, your entire passage is just a flashback. Although it does bring some insight behind your reason in applying for biomedical engineering, you should summarize the reason into one or two sentences instead. In your case that an event is your source of inspiration, be sure to emphasize on what you learned from the event.

You should focus on your goals (be specific) and how Waterloo can aid you in the process. For example, you can list a specific course you are interested in taking, a specific professor you want to learn from, certain clubs you want to join etc. Show Waterloo that you did research on their program. Ensure your reasons are specific to Waterloo and not so generic that they can be applied to any other biomedical engineering program.

Since you are 50 characters over the limit, I would suggest trimming down the part about your grandfather. Make sure you spend less time reminiscing about your relationship with your grandpa and focus more on how it served as your inspiration to study biomechanical engineering. Also make sure you are answering the prompt. What about Waterloo Engineering interests you?

I suggest to trim the first part in the introduction of your grandfather. It is nice to mention about your personal stories but overall I think your paragraph is too emotion-focused. It would be better to supplement your motivations with some clear goals in academics.