Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn?
As a high school student in an urban district, I have had the privilege of participating in many extra-curricular activities; some through school and some through community programs. I expect Penn to provide me with many more extra-curricular activities throughout my four years there because of the great pool of resources, and surrounding area. I will actively look for opportunities on Locust Walk and beyond.
The list of available student organizations that I have reviewed appears to be more than I could ever imagine. My interest in Penn engineering has lead me to discover the 30 organizations available for engineering students, including Communitech which would very much appeal to me because it allows me to interact with youth and have a positive outcome on the community. Another engineering activity that I found very appealing was Penn Electric Racing; I love cars and the prospect of "designing, building, and racing clean energy vehicles" sounds to be a good fit for me. The large number of outside the classroom engineering opportunities surprised me and gave me a great want to join them.
In addition to opportunities in engineering, I would like to get involved in intramural sports. Although I lack any serious athletic skill I look to have some fun with others in the same athletic situation as myself. On the opposite spectrum of sports, I also would like to get involved with student government; I am all about working collectively to better a group as a whole. I would be very grateful to attain any position in undergraduate student government. If any bid for student government fails, I will look to work in a Penn Student Agency. Gaining work experience while keeping the University running smoothly would be a very rewarding and beneficial experience.
Many of my volunteer hours have been filled working with youth; and I have loved every second of it. The West Philadelphia tutoring project grabbed my attention because I like working with kids of all ages, and I love learning, which I would like to pass on to any student I would tutor. Similarly to the tutoring project, the Penn Big Brothers Big Sisters program also appeals to me. The number that jumped out to me was "over 1,000 children mentored by a Penn undergraduate in Philadelphia schools." Such a large program indicates success, and I am eager to join it. I know that I am a very privileged middle-class citizen compared to the countless low-income families in the United States alone, and that is the reason I should help at least one child to ensure their bright future. The ability of Penn to provide me with such opportunities created my confidence in it to provide me with the best "college" experience possible, one in which I give all I can and become a better person because of it.
'and that is the reason I should help at least one child ensure his/her bright future.'
I like working with kids of all ages, and I love learning, which I would like to pass on to any student I would tutor --- I think you should specify what exactly would you like to pass on (its a bit vague)
I think it should be student governments (plural)
You can also specify some of Penn's resources
Btw I'm applying to Penn too but Wharton...hope we both make it :)
As a high school student in an urban district, I have had the privilege of
This makes it sound like you were a school an an urban district.
Let's change As to At.
I will actively look for opportunities on Locust Walk and beyond. ----This does not actually accomplish anything. Use every sentence of the essay to support a theme that helps the reader appreciate how carefully you have planned your education. To say yo will actively look for opportunities.. etc... is not meaningful. At the end of the first paragraph, say something that will distinguish you.
:-)
