Sorry, I know its kinda long... But I'd like opinions on my essay because I have no idea what is considered a good or bad essay.
Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.
Growing up as the only girl in the family, I've been mocked since my childhood about how I'm so boyish. I love sports, pigging out, and I especially love video games. My parents were always pushing me to be more feminine, more graceful, and more refined; to become the ideal daughter who was beautiful, well mannered, became a nurse or a teacher, married a nice man and become a good mother. How boring and stereotypical. My friends also picked on me for hanging so around so much with the boys that had "cooties." As I grew, I began to become more as my parents had expected me to be, but also maintained my interest in sports and gaming. Every now and then I get so worked up with my games and talk to my other gamer friends that even my best friend looks at me with a weird face because.
My life has always been a compromise of pleasing my parents while allowing myself to enjoy life. Being a first generation college student, I feel obligated to take this chance that my parents didn't have and make the most of it. Of course, it's every parent's dream that their child will attend Harvard, Yale or MIT. When I told them that I didn't want to go to any of those schools they were upset and continually encouraged me that I needed to go to the best school and get the best education. However, they don't realize that each student has a different fit, and those schools just don't fit me. I firmly believe that my education would flourish the most at Carnegie Mellon. Fortunately, Carnegie Mellon is still among the best of the best so they were able to settle for that.
As I was browsing the School of Computer Science portion of the CMU website, I noticed a link for Women@SCS. This must have been one of the biggest things that attracted me to CMU. After being discouraged to study computer science as it was too "nerdy" or "something meant for guys," I see that Carnegie Mellon actually encourages me to be who I am and do what I love to do. I feel that it is important to let students all over the world know that gender roles should not be an obstacle in life.
So why computer science/engineering? As I have already stated, I have loved video games since I was a kid. In fifth grade, I attended a summer camp where they taught HTLM, QBASIC, and Pascal programming. This is where I began to fall in love with programming languages. I even began reading my brother's copy of "C++ for Dummies" book during my spare time. Last summer I also attended an engineering camp that allowed me to explore the different disciplines of engineering. Again, none really captured my interest except the programming classes. The thing they stressed at the camp was that engineering is used to create solutions to problems. What greater combination than doing what I love and helping people at the same time! Ideally, I would like to combine my interest for programming with my love for video games. Hence, my future plans of being a software engineer for gaming company. If this is not possible, then I would like to start out working with my brother and cousins, who have been influential figures in my life, programming for iPhones and Androids.
Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.
Growing up as the only girl in the family, I've been mocked since my childhood about how I'm so boyish. I love sports, pigging out, and I especially love video games. My parents were always pushing me to be more feminine, more graceful, and more refined; to become the ideal daughter who was beautiful, well mannered, became a nurse or a teacher, married a nice man and become a good mother. How boring and stereotypical. My friends also picked on me for hanging so around so much with the boys that had "cooties." As I grew, I began to become more as my parents had expected me to be, but also maintained my interest in sports and gaming. Every now and then I get so worked up with my games and talk to my other gamer friends that even my best friend looks at me with a weird face because.
My life has always been a compromise of pleasing my parents while allowing myself to enjoy life. Being a first generation college student, I feel obligated to take this chance that my parents didn't have and make the most of it. Of course, it's every parent's dream that their child will attend Harvard, Yale or MIT. When I told them that I didn't want to go to any of those schools they were upset and continually encouraged me that I needed to go to the best school and get the best education. However, they don't realize that each student has a different fit, and those schools just don't fit me. I firmly believe that my education would flourish the most at Carnegie Mellon. Fortunately, Carnegie Mellon is still among the best of the best so they were able to settle for that.
As I was browsing the School of Computer Science portion of the CMU website, I noticed a link for Women@SCS. This must have been one of the biggest things that attracted me to CMU. After being discouraged to study computer science as it was too "nerdy" or "something meant for guys," I see that Carnegie Mellon actually encourages me to be who I am and do what I love to do. I feel that it is important to let students all over the world know that gender roles should not be an obstacle in life.
So why computer science/engineering? As I have already stated, I have loved video games since I was a kid. In fifth grade, I attended a summer camp where they taught HTLM, QBASIC, and Pascal programming. This is where I began to fall in love with programming languages. I even began reading my brother's copy of "C++ for Dummies" book during my spare time. Last summer I also attended an engineering camp that allowed me to explore the different disciplines of engineering. Again, none really captured my interest except the programming classes. The thing they stressed at the camp was that engineering is used to create solutions to problems. What greater combination than doing what I love and helping people at the same time! Ideally, I would like to combine my interest for programming with my love for video games. Hence, my future plans of being a software engineer for gaming company. If this is not possible, then I would like to start out working with my brother and cousins, who have been influential figures in my life, programming for iPhones and Androids.
