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"An environment of intellectual equals and the People" -Stanford a good place for me?



brookelanae 7 / 14  
Dec 29, 2010   #1
Is this essay too vague? What advice would you give me to make it more personal, or just better overall? The maximum number of words for this essay is 250, yet I have 258. Is that okay, and if not, how could I shorten it by a few words? I replaced the name of my town for privacy reasons. Thanks. [:

The single most-asked question I have encountered since beginning my final year of high school is undoubtedly: "So, where are you going to college?" Many of my peers appear shocked as I list Stanford as one of my potential college choices. Nonetheless, this is the reaction I desire. I hope that my aspirations will cause others to realize that the path commonly trodden is not the only option.

Small town, State is the town that, for the majority of my life, I have called home. Our water tower proudly boasts to reside in "America's Hometown." However, ten years here has allowed me to form other opinions, and perhaps the foremost of these is that this is a town filled with apathy. I am one of the few students who stand out as "overachievers," because I strive to put my best effort into all that I do and go beyond what is required while most others simply do enough to get by.

This is something I strongly considered while searching for colleges, and it is why I chose Stanford. I yearn to be in an environment of intellectual equals, and of people who understand the feeling of craving meaningful and engaging conversations. I want to find encouragement in my curiosity of the world around me, rather than being reprimanded for questioning things that are commonly overlooked. It is not uncommon that I will find myself enthralled by exploring a new perspective of what was hitherto an insignificant matter, and I believe that at Stanford, these ideas will be taken seriously.

Gillatorby 1 / 11  
Dec 29, 2010   #2
This essay is definitely too vague. Your argument for desiring an environment of intellectual equals can apply to many other colleges, not just Stanford.
I would suggest doing some actual research about Stanford and finding out what specific nuances about Stanford excite you. And of course, do not forget to answer the underlying question within all these questions: Why would Stanford want YOU?
ItalianOpera 2 / 5  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
Your essay fails to provide a reason why specifically Stanford is a good place for you.
OP brookelanae 7 / 14  
Dec 29, 2010   #4
Thanks. I'll revise it and post it again.
alex2493 2 / 4  
Dec 29, 2010   #5
I feel like you could replace stanford for another college in this essay and it would still work..so I would change it a little so that it is geared more specifically toward why you chose stanford out of the many other great colleges out there.


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