i was supposed to write a 300 word max essay on the following topic:
"Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing himself"- Leo Tolstoy. How do you think your experience at NYU would change you as a person?
this is what i have:
'University' is a word which is very much known to evoke an assortment of reactions in different people. Some think of it as a starting point of realizing all potential dreams, and others think of it as a mere stepping stone to an even higher point in life where those ambitions come side by side with a life of comforting luxuries. I view university as the centre of self-improvement and positive change before anything else. I expect my experience at this esteemed institution to assist me in broadening my personal awareness of multicultural differences, as well as to develop my critical thinking to match the wits of the real world, and that, among other things, are crucial steps in changing oneself which, in turn, will lead to changes in humanity.
The overwhelming growth of peoples is leading to an astonishing array of cultures. To be able to take steps in changing oneself and understanding humanity, developing my own personal understanding of these different cultures will allow me ample room to be able to adapt to any kind of environment and to tackle most cultural barriers which come between a person and his/her successful communication with others. This will greatly change and enhance my perspective of different kinds of people and will make me a more tolerant person in so many ways. That is a quality that I believe will bring out positive modification and which I expect to gain from my experience at NYU Abu Dhabi.
Experience as a NYU student will also bring about an enrichment in critical thinking skills. I anticipate being more able to think along the lines of reality and to be able to conjure better solutions to any kinds of problems, personal, local or international, that may be thrown at me. An old saying goes, 'give a man a fish, and he will live for a day; teach him how to fish, and he will live for a lifetime.' I expect my experience at NYU to teach me how to fish, so I may live for 'a lifetime'.
unfortunately, this is 344 words long. what do u thnk i shud cut?
hi. i think this question has a catch..you have to approach it by saying that maybe you dont want to change the world, but maybe you want to help it...just something you may add.
about your first paragraph, less about others, and you somewhat set yourself up for a self centered essay. you do say you will be able to better humanity...through changes, so i guess that's a start.
another thing, try taking out things in third person, like one, his, himself, etc. make it more YOU
your grasp of English seems strong enough. i think you can say much more about yourself, but use less words to say what you have already
that last paragraph, however, is great. i like the quote use, though you can talk about it more. i believe you can talk more about this section, about how nyu will change you..then you can use those examples/scenarios you have before.
merry xmas~
