Being Excluded in a project - Waterloo AIF Question #3 - Experience Reflection

The following paragraph is my response to the third AIF question for applying to University of Waterloo. Any advice would be appreciated!

Describe a situation where you were treated unfairly or witnessed someone else being treated unfairly. What did you do at the time and why? Would you do anything differently if the same situation occurred today? Has this event impacted or changed who you are now and if so, how?

During a week-long biology camp hosted by (name) Lab, I was assigned a lab report on DNA extraction as part of a group. However, I discovered I had been excluded from meetings and only received information after decisions had already been made. With only two days remaining, I realized our group was failing, so I decided to take action. I called for a brief meeting, gave an overview of the information we had collected and outlined a suitable plan for our report, while dividing the work into sections based on each person's strengths. My communication assisted in regaining focus, and we delivered a thorough, well-organized report. If I were in this situation again, I would speak up earlier and suggest regular group updates to avoid miscommunication. This experience taught me that teamwork means more than just listening, as stepping up and making sure everyone can contribute is equally important.
(150 words limit)

The reason why you were sidelined by the group in meetings should be clearly explained in the statement. You cannot make the claim without a basis for it. Revise the content to tell the whole story leading up to your taking charge of the group. What made you realize the group was failing? How was sidelining you on the causes for the potential failure? I do not really see a lesson being learned here. What you are speaking of in the statement does not show character progression and the development of your team work skills, which is vital to the sidelining discussion. Try to explain everything better so that the lessons you learned and skills developed becomes more appreciated by the reviewer.