Hey! My deadline is in a week...and I need help editing! I also need to trim this essay down! Limit is 600 words! Please help!! I will gladly help edit yours in return. Mine is for acceptance into the Educational Foundations program at University of Oregon. I am already admitted to the main university.
What are your expectations of the Educational Foundations program? What do you hope to accomplish?
"Great work, class!" I exclaimed delightedly from the front of my classroom, which in reality was rows of stuffed animals imagined as students. As a young child, I spent many hours playing "teacher", practicing in anticipation for what I hope to someday be my own real class, and ever since, my passion for learning and teaching has been obvious. Growing up, I volunteered at the YMCA child development center, where I discovered my knack with children (though I was still a child myself at 11!). I later gained teaching and leadership experience as a swim instructor, followed by volunteering at an after-school program with underprivileged children. Participating in these activities laid the groundwork for my interest in teaching, and became the stepping-stones for my desire to pursue my degree in Educational Foundations.
In addition to a passion for teaching, I am enthusiastic about learning. As a result, my level of excitement about being an Educational Foundations major is sky-high! I do not expect these next two years to be easy, however, and one of my expectations of the program is to be challenged. As one of the most respected programs nationwide, I expect my courses and the superior professors of the College of Education to challenge me academically, as well as challenge me personally to learn new attitudes and perspectives, both of which will help make me a better-quality teacher.
A key aspect of being a highly effective teacher is the ability to deeply understand learning, types of learners, communities of learners, and the environments in which learning occurs. As an Educational Foundations major, I expect to gain this deep understanding in the classroom, as well as through fieldwork with children, for there is no better way of learning how to be a top-notch teacher than through hands-on experience. Throughout my own education and volunteer work, I have encountered some truly phenomenal teachers who have inspired me to make a difference in the lives of children. Ultimately, my main expectation of the Educational Foundations program is that it will enable me to have an impact as an educator, as well as teach me the skills I need to be the best teacher I possibly can.
Educational Foundations is a fantastic program that will aide in my journey towards achieving my dream of teaching. As for now, there are a few things I hope to accomplish in my education before I can begin making a difference in my own classroom. As previously mentioned, I hope to become the best teacher possible - one who is prepared to teach in diverse environments, with the ability to connect with children and excite them about their education. The teachers that stand out to me are the one's that enthuse students about learning, and I hope to learn techniques and skills that will facilitate my doing the same. It is my goal to help all of my future students get the most out of their education, and through this program, I hope achieve that goal.
Through the Educational Foundations program, with the help of an unprecedented education, excellent professors, and hands-on experience with children, I plan to become more than just a teacher. I plan to become one of leadership, one that can make a difference in the lives of children and excite them to gain the most they can from their education. Additionally, I expect to academic and personal challenges academically, to adopt new attitudes and think in innovative ways. Not only will this shape me into a well-rounded educator, but it will open my eyes to new perspectives, ones that can further mold my personality into one of openness. I am convinced, teaching is not a job - it is a calling, my calling. I hope that the Educational Foundations program will remain to true its name, and that I will be supplied with a strong foundation of education that I can later build upon to become one of those teachers I remember so fondly, one of the teachers that had an impact on me, and inspired me to make a difference.
"Great work, class!" I exclaimed delightedly from the front of my classroom, which in reality was rows of stuffed animals imagined as students.
were, not was.
But that sentence makes too much of the cool detail about your past. Try this for intensity: do not write a whole paragraph based on it, but instead make a passing reference. You can tell about neat rows of stuffed animal students in the same sentence that you mention having volunteered at YMCA and the after school programs. That will be a POWERFUL sentence if it contains so much evidence of your preparedness.
But you WATER your writing down if you spend a whole paragraph making those points. Less is more. Make every punch count.
All those examples in the first para belong in a body para. Use the first para to introduce a THEME.
That last paragraph is AWESOME. I can tell you wrote this from beginning to end instead of writing random paragraphs, as I do, and putting them together later. By the time you got to the end, you were writing with the energy of inspiration. That is how it seems to me, anyway... I don't know...
:-)
