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my experience of an extracurricular activity - Teaching Christine


isaac02 1 / -  
Oct 24, 2012   #1
Task: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below.] It's a first draft so grammar might be a bit awkward.

I was never passionate about music until my mother's friend recommended me to learn jazz theory. I lived life believing music wasn't something I would enjoy - it was something forced upon my mother. However, after years of learning jazz theory, I finally experienced what expressing through music truly felt like. Not only do I play for the junior and senior groups in my church, but I also help the next generation of kids so that when it is time for me to leave, they would become the key players. For months, I helped out a girl named Christine. Though she was extremely shy at first, music definitely brought us together. Initially I thought that teaching wasn't something I would enjoy... that it was another job. However, when I guided Christine to become such an incredible jazz gospel performer, I felt nothing but delight. Having her over at the small confinements of the church choir room, sitting next to her on an adequate-sized piano bench was nothing more than I could ask for. Correcting her notes, telling her to play with more conviction, and even playing duets were something I enjoyed. The experience wasn't short lived - it wasn't just a summertime job that I'd forget the next summer. Bringing out such passion and enjoyment is something I strive for. I believe music brings out the color in people and it connects us together in ways that we can't forget. Teaching Christine opened up my heart to have an endeavor to be able to connect to even more people through music.

linmark 2 / 328 7  
Nov 5, 2012   #2
Love jazz theory and learned something new from you. Now I want to hear it in gospel performance!

I had only one minor reaction which was to this sentence as it does color your essay a different way, one that you may not have intended: Having her over at the small confinements of the church choir room, sitting next to her on an adequate-sized piano bench was nothing more than I could ask for.

i.e. it appears that you kinda developed a crush on Christine?? If you did intend this then, it may help to make it clear in the ending... i.e. teaching Christine helped you have an even more special connection etc.


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