Hey guys,
This is my second essay that I've written. My sister has helped me check it, and I wanted a more varied opinion, so here goes!
Prompt #2 (all applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I was very reserved as a child. I never wanted to go out to meet new people, or do new things. I was complacent with the things the way things were. I always hung out with the same neighborhood kids I grew up with. It took a lot of effort to get me to say hi to a new classmate, and I'd break out in a cold sweat when approached by a stranger. To say I shied away from the spotlight would be an understatement. Then one day, in 8th grade, I walked past a Tae Kwon Do studio in session. I was taken away by the confidence and intensity of students as they trained in the martial art. Since then, I have won two silver medals in a sparring and form competition. I have also have received my Black Belt. I never thought that achieving my Black Belt status would bring me such pride; however, my accomplishments in Tae Kwon Do played an instrumental role in shaping the self-assured person I am today.
The most personally significant accomplishment I have achieved is my Black Belt status. I trained every other day at the Tae Kwon Do studio and practiced thousands of hours on my own and continued throughout high school to reach this point. As I became progressively more skilled in fighting and self defense, I found a new voice, and a new confidence. For the first time, I felt that I was in control of my own life; whether I was facing off in a sparring match or off navigating the maze called high school, I was the one behind the wheel. After I received my black belt, I, in turn, coached the younger students at the studio. At first, it was quite nerve-racking to be the instructor, but I realized that this was my chance to introduce new students to the sport that shaped the person that I am now.
If I had not been introduced to Tae Kwon Do, I would not be the person I am today. I used to be timid that I envied my pet turtle Ninja and her comforting shell. Tae Kwon Do has made me a stronger person, both mentally and physically. Although I am not pursuing a career in martial arts, it will always have a place in my mind, as it has been the factor that led me to believe in myself, has and allowed me to explore new things. I have been able achieve even better grades, and have been able to branch myself far enough to try activities like road racing. It has been an experience that has taught me to be humble, yet proud, strong and thoughtful-- and to also pursue my dreams. Through the experience of mastering Tae Kwon Do, I am no longer a self-limiting person, and I know that I am capable of motivating others to achieve their ambitions too.
Thanks,
Jay
This is my second essay that I've written. My sister has helped me check it, and I wanted a more varied opinion, so here goes!
Prompt #2 (all applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I was very reserved as a child. I never wanted to go out to meet new people, or do new things. I was complacent with the things the way things were. I always hung out with the same neighborhood kids I grew up with. It took a lot of effort to get me to say hi to a new classmate, and I'd break out in a cold sweat when approached by a stranger. To say I shied away from the spotlight would be an understatement. Then one day, in 8th grade, I walked past a Tae Kwon Do studio in session. I was taken away by the confidence and intensity of students as they trained in the martial art. Since then, I have won two silver medals in a sparring and form competition. I have also have received my Black Belt. I never thought that achieving my Black Belt status would bring me such pride; however, my accomplishments in Tae Kwon Do played an instrumental role in shaping the self-assured person I am today.
The most personally significant accomplishment I have achieved is my Black Belt status. I trained every other day at the Tae Kwon Do studio and practiced thousands of hours on my own and continued throughout high school to reach this point. As I became progressively more skilled in fighting and self defense, I found a new voice, and a new confidence. For the first time, I felt that I was in control of my own life; whether I was facing off in a sparring match or off navigating the maze called high school, I was the one behind the wheel. After I received my black belt, I, in turn, coached the younger students at the studio. At first, it was quite nerve-racking to be the instructor, but I realized that this was my chance to introduce new students to the sport that shaped the person that I am now.
If I had not been introduced to Tae Kwon Do, I would not be the person I am today. I used to be timid that I envied my pet turtle Ninja and her comforting shell. Tae Kwon Do has made me a stronger person, both mentally and physically. Although I am not pursuing a career in martial arts, it will always have a place in my mind, as it has been the factor that led me to believe in myself, has and allowed me to explore new things. I have been able achieve even better grades, and have been able to branch myself far enough to try activities like road racing. It has been an experience that has taught me to be humble, yet proud, strong and thoughtful-- and to also pursue my dreams. Through the experience of mastering Tae Kwon Do, I am no longer a self-limiting person, and I know that I am capable of motivating others to achieve their ambitions too.
Thanks,
Jay