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'experiences as an Administrative Coordinator' - MS Human Resource Managment Essay



ACSHR 1 / 2  
Nov 14, 2012   #1
I am inspired to earn a Master of Science in Human Resource Management when I started to work in the Human Resource department at New York City Children's Services. My experiences as an Administrative Coordinator has motivated me and prepared me to pursue a career in Human Resource Management.

As an undergraduate student I studied at York College - City University of New York where I obtain my Baccalaureate degree in Information System Management. After I graduated I landed a career at New York City Children's Services as an Administrative Manager. I worked in this position for six years and I have learned many valuable skills and developed my professionalism. I have cultivated stronger commitment, vision, leadership, motivation, optimism, independent-judgment, punctuality, listening, multi tasking, fairness and firmness, and good work ethics. After six years of being an Administrative Manager I was promoted to an Administrative Coordinator in the Human Resource Department at New York Children's Services. Working in the Human Resource department, I feel I have found my true self, I knew here is where I belong and I knew this is the kind of work I wanted to do.

In my experience working in the Human Resource department I have the opportunity to exercise independent judgment in regards to collecting and analyzing data related to personnel management, perform professional technical work, and provide customer services to the employees of New York City Children's Services. I also work closely with the Office of labor Relations, Employment Law, Equal Employment Opportunity, ACS Personnel Liaisons and various personnel unit to collect and analyze case sensitive information.

I enjoy every aspect of my job, and I look forward for the variety of task and challenges I faced with every day. The interaction with people, listening, mentoring, motivating and providing technical feedback to employees, also interaction with different technologies appeals to me immensely. I take pride in my responsibilities to support the organization to ensure optimization, and support the employee by ensuring they are able to maximize their value to the organization.

My expectation in earning a Master of Science in Human Resource Management is to be well equip with all the theory and practice in Human Resource Management and the different aspect of Human Resource Management principles. I expect to go deeper and learn the proper procedures, government regulations, employment laws, best practice and management skills. Also, how to be a constructive critical thinker and a problem solver while implementing proper policies and regulations for the best possible out come.

Please give me the opportunity by granting me admission into your highly acclaimed program in Master of Science in Human Resource Management. As it will be a win-win for both Touro College and me. I am mentally, physically and financially prepared to undertake your Master of Science in Human Resource Management program, I will successfully complete what I begin and thereafter, continue to add value, strengthen morale and build and develop strong organization with your Master of Science in Human Resource Management.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 25, 2012   #2
My experiences as an Administrative Coordinatorhashave motivated me and prepared me to pursue a career in Human Resource Management.

experience has motivated / experiences have motivated
Actually I prefer if you just say;
my experiences motivated me -------- without having ''have or has'' ... : )

City University of New York where I obtained my Baccalaureate degree in Information System Management.

-- keep it in past tense

After I graduated I landed abegan my career at New York City Children's Services as an Administrative Manager. I worked in this position for six years and I have learnedand it taught me many valuable skills and developed my professionalism.
OP ACSHR 1 / 2  
Nov 26, 2012   #3
Thank you --
havu - / 5  
Nov 26, 2012   #4
This essay is very general. If I were an admission officer, I would expect to learn more about the day to day responsibilities of this position and its challenges and how earning an MA will help you contribute to this organization or others in significant ways.

To make it convincing, you need to elaborate this sentence: [I worked in this position for six years and I have learned many valuable skills and developed my professionalism. I have cultivated stronger commitment, vision, leadership, motivation, optimism, independent-judgment, punctuality, listening, multi tasking, fairness and firmness, and good work ethics.]

This is more like a summary of your professional growth that should be provided by a referee rather than by yourself. ...

Also, you should have a good editor look at this essay before submitting it.
OP ACSHR 1 / 2  
Nov 27, 2012   #5
Thank you Havu, I appreciate your feedback very much.


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