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Experiences shape who we are and mold the future we will have; extracurricular activity



jmr213 2 / 2  
Jan 4, 2014   #1
What lessons have you learned from participating in an extracurricular activity?

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "the purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experiences to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear of newer and richer experiences." Experiences shape who we are and mold the future we will have. Everything we go through, no matter how mundane, carries a potential for great impact. The time we go through the most life-changing experiences is during our young adulthood. During this time, many of us are in high school or college where we are exposed to a vast array of extracurricular activities to choose and learn from. There are many of these activities I could pick from to write about. For instance, I could write about how I was one of the co-founders of the Library Club in school with hopes of increasing the student body's interest in printed works. I could also write about when I volunteered to teach CPR and First Aid to a group of adults. The one experience that stands out from all the rest however, was the day I joined the United States Army. I have been a soldier for four years with three more left to go. The life lessons I have learned throughout my military career will stay with me past the day my contract expires. These lessons I learned in the army applies to my civilian and academic life. In the military, there is no way to avoid accountability. This forces one to take responsibility for everything done and said. It also teaches you to not only own up to the mistakes one is bound to make but to also fix them. When I wear my uniform, a sense of pride befalls me. I take great care to look professional. This has carried over into my civilian clothes. I have learned that appearances do matter and influence the way others see you. It is up to oneself to have self-respect and dress in a way that demands the respect from others. While an individual soldier has great potential for greatness, he/she cannot do everything on his/her own. It requires one to swallow their pride and recognize that it is ok to ask for help when needed. Many people do not know their true limits or capacities. It is not until one goes through a great challenge that one realizes the great potential they carry inside. The Army has taught me that I can always do better, do more, and push through my obstacles. It is this confidence that will show through my school work and career. If an experience challenges you, then a lesson can be derived from it. I am not done with life and thus expect many more challenges to come my way. As long as I keep an open mind and remind myself that I am only human that can make mistakes, then I will succeed. There are many more lessons for me to learn and I cannot wait to do so.

Ulaai 3 / 42  
Jan 4, 2014   #2
Sorry, I am not good with grammar, so I'll just look at the content.

There are many of these activities I could pick from to write about. For instance, I could write about how I was one of the co-founders of the Library Club in school with hopes of increasing the student body's interest in printed works. I could also write about when I volunteered to teach CPR and First Aid to a group of adults.

I think if you want to only elaborate an extracurricular activity until the end, which is when you joined the army, you don't need to write this. It will make your essay more not focused. Instead, you might as well choose a memorable moment that can truly emphasize what you did in the army and its impact on you, instead of stating it clearly.

Goodluck!
And please feedback my essay! :)
rohan96 4 / 6  
Jan 5, 2014   #3
From the looks of your essay I believe it isn't paragraphed. I would suggest you to chop it into small bits of 2-3 paras. That would help in its overall look too. Otherwise your essay is fine and ready to be submitted.


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