'an expert in the field of finance' - University of Pennsylvania's Short Answer

Essay Prompt:

Use the space below to name a Penn professor with whom you would like to study or conduct research and explain why.

My Respsonse:

Dr. Fanklin Allen, an astute professor at the The Wharton School, is a very prolific researcher and is very singular in his field as he is an avid researcher. What makes Dr. Allen stand out from the rest of the professors in the field of Finance is his diversified involvement in research in areas such as corporate finance, asset pricing, economics of information and his current projects involving the comparison of different countries financial systems and the in depth analysis of the current financial crises, a main interest of mine. The intellectual capabilities of Dr. Franklin Allen are evident in his books such as "Understanding Financial Crises." Clarendon Lectures in Finance Oxford University Press, 2007 and "Financial Intermediaries and Markets." Econometrica 72, 1023-1061 (2004) and are the product of a well rounded expert in the field of finance and economics. Dr. Allen's many achievements are illustrators of his profoundness as he is recognized both at the scholastic and national level. He has won several teaching awards throughout his teaching career, held several academic positions of deemed importance and has displayed great professional and corporate and public sector leadership capabilities. Dr. Franklin Allen is an outstanding contributor to both The Wharton School and the society at large and it is for these reasons and many others that I would love to study with him and hopefully, one day, conduct research with him in his fields.

Please leave your comments. Do you think that i am accurately answering the question and if you see any corrections that could be made or any errors that need correcting please state so. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

Overall, a good essay. You respond to the question by giving a glowing appraisal of the professor, which is pretty much what the prompt asks you to do. You might want to add in some details about your own research ideas, and how they would fit in with Allen's research interests, but that's up to you. Apart from that, a couple of suggestions for the opening:

"a very prolific researcher and is very singular in his field as he is an avid researcher." This essentially repeats itself.

". . . economics of information and his current projects involving the comparison of different countries financial systems and the in depth analysis of the current financial crises, a main interest of mine." I'd divide this into two sentences. So ". . . economics of information. Moreover, his current projects involving the comparison of different countries financial systems and the in depth analysis of the current financial crises are a main interest of mine."

Thank you for your excellent points. I will definitely take your first point into consideration and implement your second. Thanks again.

I like Respsonse #1:

This is a suggestion to make part of it more powerful:

Dr. Franklin Allen is an outstanding contributor to both The Wharton School and society at large; for these reasons and many others I would love to study with him and conduct research with his guidance.

It's funny how, when you want to communicate powerfully, less really is more. Say things in fewer words, and... well, yeah, say things in fewer words. That is just general advice, though. This essay is pretty great.

Just a general comment for you. While your appraisal of the professor is wonderful they are really looking to learn more about you and why you would be a good addition so I might try to add some of how studying with the professor would help you reach your goals or add to your education.