Hi I am from India. I have three years gap after high school. I ran away from my home to escape an arranged marriage. Now I am applying to the colleges in USA for undergraduate level. Please help me, I need a strong essay to explain my three years gap.
My Life, My Story
The search for a perfect husband began before I reached high school. My parents would talk about my "good qualities" with everyone that visited our house as if I was a product they were very eager to sell. They would go on and on about how I would never leave the house without my mom, how I could clean the house spotlessly, prepare a delicious elaborate meal for a dozen and wash a bucket of clothes while still managing to come at the top of my class. In response, they would look at me from top to bottom and say "If only she were a little taller, I would have found the richest guy in the neighborhood for her". I would feel claustrophobic and not utter a single word.
Until my tenth grade, it was all just a search. But I felt my parents crossed their limits when they decided a "good" girl shouldn't talk to the boys and sent me to an all-girl's school for the junior and senior years of my high school. For them, letting me finish my high school was only making me more marketable for marriage.
At first, I was almost convinced that marrying a rich guy of good social standing is an ultimate goal of a woman. I would look around and see a lady married to the guy from a good family leading a happy and seemingly fulfilled life and think, "Maybe this is what every woman is born to do." And then I would see, in newspapers, women known for their achievements and their contributions to the society; I would turn on the television and see the powerful women leading the world, gaining respect and admiration, standing tall and speaking loud. That sometimes scared me, but most of the times, made me wonder, "How did those women have such an influence? How did they start? Do their parents and husbands really support them?" Then I would feel sad at the realization that I would never be one of those women. I would never be able to spread my wings; I would forever be limited within the four walls of kitchen. That thought made me sick, almost made me hate myself for being born a woman. I couldn't picture myself living the life of that lady married to a rich husband. What seemed so satisfied and dignified to them seemed so degrading to me. The thought of getting married to someone I did not know was very dreadful; I winced at the thought of being touched by a guy I had never seen before.
I tried to convince my parents. I tried every trick: I pleaded, I cried, I abandoned the food, I warned to call the police, I threatened to kill myself. But nothing worked. I was helpless. I knew I would be forcefully married and sent to my husband's home just like my cousin was, two years ago. And just like every other girl in the neighborhood. There was nowhere I could turn to. So I made a decision I never imagined I would be able to make. I left my home at the age of seventeen.
I joined two of my other female friends who had come from a remote village of Chandigar to continue their studies in the capital city. I do not know if I would be the strong person that I am today if it were not for the constant encouragement and support I got from those Chandari girls, who were themselves searching for their identities as women in patriarchal Indian society. Our thoughts and ideals matched; we realized we were all so desperate to give a meaning to our lives. Thus began a new journey of my life.
I supported myself by tutoring three high school students. My parents knew where I was staying but never bothered to give me a call or come for a visit. The constant nagging of the neighbors regarding my whereabouts must have caused them to react the way they did. They or I couldn't tell anyone I had left my home in anger because a girl leaving the house and staying out of the family is a taboo. And a girl who speaks up- a social outcast. At times, I wanted to tell my truth but the thought of society looking down at my parents always stopped me.
When I left home, I did everything I wasn't allowed to do before. I learnt singing, dancing and swimming; I learnt to play guitar; I trekked to the remote parts of India. I also started advocating for women's rights and youth's rights for sexual and reproductive decisions. I associated myself with several social organizations. I was even nominated to represent India in Youth Workshop organized by a London based youth organization, where I lobbied the international policy makers for youth rights and exposed the sad truth of Child Marriage in India. I was awarded the national level Faces of Women award; was given a scholarship grant to publish my book on Child Marriage, and was selected to host a youth-related program in local radio station. I was becoming the strong woman I had always dreamt to be. Young girls would come to me and tell me how I was inspiring them to stand up for themselves. And this gave me a validation that I was not headed towards a wrong path, and perhaps that validation was all I needed at the moment.
I always held a desire to see the real world outside of the four walls of kitchen, experience life and feel the freedom. I am so proud I am in the way of achieving my goals. I want to inspire and be inspired. I want to be a female leader of India; I want to make policies that respect the rights of women; I want to create a society free of gender bias; I want to create a New India for every Indian girl. I want to show the girls in my community that it is possible to live your dreams if you dare to chase them. I want to change the attitude of my community towards women for those little girls that are forced into marriage at an early age, before they even realize that they have dreams and aspirations. I am so excited at the change I can ignite and also very anxious about the magnitude of this responsibility I have decided to take upon myself. I hope a college level education in the United States of America, the country of Dreams and Dreamers, will rightly equip me with confidence, network and support I need.
After two years of living away from my family, I now stay with them. I feel independent, strong and empowered. And I keep replaying the words, on my head, my dad said to me on my birthday "I am so proud of you."
My Life, My Story
The search for a perfect husband began before I reached high school. My parents would talk about my "good qualities" with everyone that visited our house as if I was a product they were very eager to sell. They would go on and on about how I would never leave the house without my mom, how I could clean the house spotlessly, prepare a delicious elaborate meal for a dozen and wash a bucket of clothes while still managing to come at the top of my class. In response, they would look at me from top to bottom and say "If only she were a little taller, I would have found the richest guy in the neighborhood for her". I would feel claustrophobic and not utter a single word.
Until my tenth grade, it was all just a search. But I felt my parents crossed their limits when they decided a "good" girl shouldn't talk to the boys and sent me to an all-girl's school for the junior and senior years of my high school. For them, letting me finish my high school was only making me more marketable for marriage.
At first, I was almost convinced that marrying a rich guy of good social standing is an ultimate goal of a woman. I would look around and see a lady married to the guy from a good family leading a happy and seemingly fulfilled life and think, "Maybe this is what every woman is born to do." And then I would see, in newspapers, women known for their achievements and their contributions to the society; I would turn on the television and see the powerful women leading the world, gaining respect and admiration, standing tall and speaking loud. That sometimes scared me, but most of the times, made me wonder, "How did those women have such an influence? How did they start? Do their parents and husbands really support them?" Then I would feel sad at the realization that I would never be one of those women. I would never be able to spread my wings; I would forever be limited within the four walls of kitchen. That thought made me sick, almost made me hate myself for being born a woman. I couldn't picture myself living the life of that lady married to a rich husband. What seemed so satisfied and dignified to them seemed so degrading to me. The thought of getting married to someone I did not know was very dreadful; I winced at the thought of being touched by a guy I had never seen before.
I tried to convince my parents. I tried every trick: I pleaded, I cried, I abandoned the food, I warned to call the police, I threatened to kill myself. But nothing worked. I was helpless. I knew I would be forcefully married and sent to my husband's home just like my cousin was, two years ago. And just like every other girl in the neighborhood. There was nowhere I could turn to. So I made a decision I never imagined I would be able to make. I left my home at the age of seventeen.
I joined two of my other female friends who had come from a remote village of Chandigar to continue their studies in the capital city. I do not know if I would be the strong person that I am today if it were not for the constant encouragement and support I got from those Chandari girls, who were themselves searching for their identities as women in patriarchal Indian society. Our thoughts and ideals matched; we realized we were all so desperate to give a meaning to our lives. Thus began a new journey of my life.
I supported myself by tutoring three high school students. My parents knew where I was staying but never bothered to give me a call or come for a visit. The constant nagging of the neighbors regarding my whereabouts must have caused them to react the way they did. They or I couldn't tell anyone I had left my home in anger because a girl leaving the house and staying out of the family is a taboo. And a girl who speaks up- a social outcast. At times, I wanted to tell my truth but the thought of society looking down at my parents always stopped me.
When I left home, I did everything I wasn't allowed to do before. I learnt singing, dancing and swimming; I learnt to play guitar; I trekked to the remote parts of India. I also started advocating for women's rights and youth's rights for sexual and reproductive decisions. I associated myself with several social organizations. I was even nominated to represent India in Youth Workshop organized by a London based youth organization, where I lobbied the international policy makers for youth rights and exposed the sad truth of Child Marriage in India. I was awarded the national level Faces of Women award; was given a scholarship grant to publish my book on Child Marriage, and was selected to host a youth-related program in local radio station. I was becoming the strong woman I had always dreamt to be. Young girls would come to me and tell me how I was inspiring them to stand up for themselves. And this gave me a validation that I was not headed towards a wrong path, and perhaps that validation was all I needed at the moment.
I always held a desire to see the real world outside of the four walls of kitchen, experience life and feel the freedom. I am so proud I am in the way of achieving my goals. I want to inspire and be inspired. I want to be a female leader of India; I want to make policies that respect the rights of women; I want to create a society free of gender bias; I want to create a New India for every Indian girl. I want to show the girls in my community that it is possible to live your dreams if you dare to chase them. I want to change the attitude of my community towards women for those little girls that are forced into marriage at an early age, before they even realize that they have dreams and aspirations. I am so excited at the change I can ignite and also very anxious about the magnitude of this responsibility I have decided to take upon myself. I hope a college level education in the United States of America, the country of Dreams and Dreamers, will rightly equip me with confidence, network and support I need.
After two years of living away from my family, I now stay with them. I feel independent, strong and empowered. And I keep replaying the words, on my head, my dad said to me on my birthday "I am so proud of you."
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