My Extracurricular Activity Essay for Colleges. EYP - European Youth Parliament

Here is my essay about an extracurricular activity. I am open to critisism. Recommended length - 175 words.

European Youth Parliament

The moment my first EYP session came to the end, I knew it was not the last one. Reasons are manifold, yet there is a primary one: EYP is a way to the universe of personal development and fulfillment. EYP has its peculiar atmosphere created by the synthesis of seriousness and fun - environment perfect for education and empowerment of youth. It is an environment that makes me feel safe and my opinion respected. It is the environment where I constantly face the diversity of a human mind, and thus challenge the beliefs I have once taken to be universal. It is the environment that by enabling me to take on inherently different roles - a delegate, an organizer, a chairperson, an intern as well as a member of governing body - helps me to stretch myself to the limit. It is the environment that impels me to make a difference on a scale that goes far beyond the high school since I believe my involvement with EYP is huge step forward for me contributing to building stronger Ukrainian society.

P.S. I am an international student. It is for Ivy school.

Also, what do you think about this?

Every EYP goodbye evokes bunch of emotions; yet it is not always possible to categorize them. Some are negative because that experience cannot be repeated; some are positive because I know that the next event is going be even better. Therefore, instead of post-EYP depression (PED) I would like to think about the end as a new opportunity, a new basis for something even greater - PEH - a pre-EYP happiness, if to give it a name.

hi yuliakm, here i want to correct some mistake.

The moment my first EYPsession came to the end , I knew it was ...
my first moment of EYP session from the first meeting to the end....

Dzvenyslava , I am a bit confused. If this is an extra curricular activity, then this should be something that you are doing on a continuous basis outside of school. Since this activity comes to an end, it doesn't seem like an accurate extra curricular activity to discuss here. Is this similar to the MUN or Model UN activity that some students participate in while at school? If it is, then you should pick a different extra curricular activity. An extra curricular activity is one that takes place after class, usually out of the school and does not relate to anything academic. This is supposed to be about an activity that is done as a form of pursuing other non academic interests. I don't think this EYP is the way to go with the essay.

@Holt
Hey!
European Youth Parliament is independent youth NGO. Events it organizes are similar to MUN conferences to some extent; however, they are perhaps less academic and provide people with more opportunities. It is governed by youth (17-26 years old), and in each country, there is governing body called the National Committee, which mainly coordinates the projects in the country. The projects (sessions) may be on the regional, national or international level. One may organize the session, be a media team member, be a chairperson or just a delegate.

I am on a constant basis member of the National Committee (of one of the Departments). I mainly coordinate the delegations that are sent to international Sessions. Besides, I took part in different sessions as a delegate, and I am going to be a chairperson and an organizer in a month.

I hope I explained it explicitly enough. So, how do you think? May it be considered as an extracurricular activity?

Thank you in advance.

Yes, it can definitely work as an extra curricular activity now that I understand more about it. By the way, you better do some editing work on the essay. You have a few misplaced capital letters in there. Other than that, your participation in the program is clear. I think that you need to add some information about the objective of the EYP though. Just like the MUN, I am sure that it has an objective for the participants. Since the reviewer might not be familiar with the EYP, it would not hurt to point him in the right direction in terms of familiarizing him with the purpose of the extra curricular activity. Is there some way that you can insert a simple sentence that makes reference to that? Maybe I can help you with that?

@Holt
Thank you!

I wanted to insert some explanation about the organisation into the essay, but the word limit is only 150 words (for some universities 175). However, I was thinking about adding some information about EYP in the common app 'additional information' section. What do you think about this idea?

Also, I am not sure about the quality/content of my essay and whether it is good enough for Ivy Schools. I would really appreciate if you could tell me whether it is appropriate or should I just rewrite it.

Considering that Ivy league schools are interested in diversifying their student community, I would definitely use this essay for applying to their campuses. One of the criteria that they look for, which can be beneficial to you is your ability to be able to get along with people from all corners of the world. Having an understanding of other cultures is also a big plus because that means you can add to the student experience of the university.

As for additional explanations about EYP in the supplemental essay, if you feel that this essay needs the kind of help that an extended explanation in the supplement can bring, then by all means, do it. Explain and develop your participation in EYP further. However, towards the end of the supplemental essay, it may be wise for you to try and connect it somehow with your chosen major. I guess I would have to read the supplemental essay to be able to decide on that point. Remember, the supplemental essay cannot be attached to this thread. You will have to start a new discussion thread for that essay. I'll be monitoring for it and will respond to the new thread that you will be starting as soon as I can.