Hi! I need help editing. Please tell me if you are confused at any part or if it answers the prompt well. All opinions are appreciated. Please feel free to be harsh.
What is your favorite word and why?
I was so happy when I was able to pronounce it. Little did I know, I had been pronouncing it
wrong. "Extraˇordinary," I said, as if it was two words. One word means "of better quality than
is normal". The other means "of a common everyday kind". A paradox forms when the words
are understood separately. But when it is pronounced "exˇtraorˇdiˇnarˇy", compelling both words
to cooperate, where one does not draw more attention to itself than the other, it takes on a whole
different meaning. Resembling a Chinese Yin Yang sign, the two polar words are interconnected
and ultimately give rise to each other in turn. They complete each other, become stronger, and
give birth to a new meaning: "exceptional to a very prominent degree." It describes the
relentless, the never before seen, the unique, the astonishing. It is typically used in a sentence
before the words: masterpiece, hero, and sometimes too generously, food. It has been used to
describe philanthropic leaders all over the world, such as Mohammed, Mandela, Maathai. Yet,
for me, the word itself stands superior from all it describes. For it is my ambition. I do not
believe I can be compared to these outstanding role models because I am just a simple seventeen
year old girl. I have not reached my full potential and do not have the tools to carry out my
visions. Yet I have an exceptional passion and capabilities that could help address and solve
problems that we see every day: abuse, discrimination, bullying, loss of biodiversity, and most
especially not having enough food to eat. Only then will I call myself extraordinary. Even now, I
admit that I am extra ordinary, but I am taking extra strides to be worthy of my favorite word.
This essay is great! To be honest, I can't find any major errors.
There are points when your sentences become somewhat unclear:
I am powerful and yet I have not reached my full potential to allow me to prevent the world from discrimination, trafficking, loss of biodiversity, destitution or abuse.
Something about the "to allow me to" is confusing.
Other than that, wonderful all around! Great introduction to and definition of the word and concluded nicely. Care to proof read mine?
This is valuable stuff.. very good writing for giving the reader an experience. It is intriguing because of the way it shares your way of thinking, which is cool. But you might be neglecting an important opportunity: paragraphs. The next part of making awesome writing is to choose places where you can end a paragraph so that the reader will really pay attention to one important sentence at the end of the paragraph.
And the first sentence of the next paragraph also is sort of distinct. So... use some paragraphs for this. Also, use a hyphen for year-old.
:-)
