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Facade of Smiles: (where I come from - UC prompt 1)



StrugglingSelf 1 / 1  
Nov 25, 2010   #1
Describe the world you come from and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

A façade of smiles flourishes as long as we are lost. Before I begin I should probably say that my world has and will always be surrounded towards my family. I come from a family whose origins are traced back to a laborious and unbearable life in India. Coming to the United States brought no difference as the struggle accompanied us to our new home. It is said that time heals all wounds and as we continued to live we became more accustomed to this life style. However it is the very hardship that we faced that has caused not only caused me to bring forth a façade of smiles but also hold perseverance like no other. Growing up as a toddler I was always told to work my hardest, be the best and, and do this day, how hard it was to come to this country and be where we are at today. For that time I was able to do so and accomplished those standards. As I grew older expectations grew higher but the rose colored glass, which protected me from the reality of my life, began, to shatter.

As the glass broke the foundations of my mind followed. Everything began to shatter as issues rose to the point where I truly did not know where I belonged. I lived in a broken home my whole life and a few years back began living with my mother. She supported me with all her might working many hours but still just enough to barely survive and making sure I only focused on my studies. I was told not to work because she knew I had to be at the top to have a chance at living a prosperous life. This very idea-that I needed to be the best- has been burned into my heart and soul, only to bring fear. Excessive fear is not good for the mind; it eradicates the self and distorts all that is held. This was how the little world that seemed content had finally broken down into nothingness. To fill myself I began helping out at my local Mosque every week and working with the community member to provide a better understand of Islam to not only Muslims but all those around us. Though this was not truly why I started, it was because it allowed me to drown away the idea that I had failed my mother and that my future seemed to be stuck in living a life where the peace of mind was an unfathomable concept.

I didn't know it at the time but going to my Mosque every week and doing little itty-bitty tasks helped me climb up my downward spiral. My selfish desire to forget, not only allowed me be known by my peers as someone to be counted on but showed me the desire to help others. It refueled my need to become successful in this life so that i can provide more for those in need. It seemed that the small child that ran around smiling in the sun was not lost but just hiding. The realization might have come late but it allowed me to work to improve my grades, lifestyle, and myself. I am finally able to remove my façade of smiles.

Edit: Forgot to mention that can you check if it properly answers the prompt, if theres any errors on spelling, grammar, and all that other good stuff. Also does it make sense

anindyabd 1 / 14  
Nov 25, 2010   #2
First of all, I didn't really get the first sentence. It's...very vague.

But this following excerpt is also quite puzzling:
As I grew older expectations grew higher but the rose colored glass, which protected me from the reality of my life, began, to shatter.
As the glass broke the foundations of my mind followed. Everything began to shatter as issues rose to the point where I truly did not know where I belonged. I lived in a broken home my whole life and a few years back began living with my mother.


Reading this brought a few questions to my mind:

'Everything began to shatter issues rose to the point where I truly did not know where I belonged.' Why? Elaborate, please!

And then you say you started living with your mother. Who did you live with before?

You say your world is surrounded by your family...shouldn't you be talking about your family a little more (other than your mother)? And if the only family you have is your mom, then why didn't you mention it at the start?

Answering these questions may help to give us a clearer picture of you.
OP StrugglingSelf 1 / 1  
Nov 25, 2010   #3
thanks anindyabd for the quick response


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