Hey Guys! This is one of my choices for my common app essay. This is completely the first rough, rough draft. But i would appreciate it if you read through it and told me what you think of it. Tell me if you find any errors too! Thanks
My guidance counselor has told me, numerous times, that the essays are a crucial part of the college application; they let the admission officers get a sense of who you are. As I sat down to write this essay I looked at my computer screen and sighed. I had Microsoft word open in one window and Zuckerburg's wretched creation in another. Like most teenagers, I find myself spending a good portion of my time on facebook. It sucks me in like a vacuum and makes it nearly impossible to escape. It has mercy on no one, sweeping its powerful wrath on anyone who dares enter its deceiving blue and white walls. Facebook is the reason I stayed up until one in the morning last Tuesday writing my AP government essay instead of sleeping. Facebook is the reason my mother diagnosed me as a professional procrastinator because I seem to always be studying my friends status updates instead of my AP literature book. Facebook is the reason I have turned into a groggy eyed, caffeine addict that walks the halls as a sleep deprived zombie. I hate facebook. While updating my status about how much I hate facebook, oh the irony, I realized that if someone wanted to know who I was, all they needed to do was visit my profile. All of my interests, hobbies, relationships, friends, groups, events, pictures, likes, opinions and beliefs are all conviently located on one single web page that is easily accessible to anyone with a computer. That's when I seriously started questioning why I was even bothering to take the time to meticulously write out everything about myself on my application when all I had to do was send you guys a friend request. Because technically, it's the same concept right? That's also when I started questioning my sanity. What kind of person had I turned into? Was I really that susceptible to the typical teenage stereotype that I had become so lazy as to spend my time on facebook instead filling out the application that would determine my future? But my news feed told me I wasn't alone. Dozens of my fellow procrastinating seniors' walls were plastered with statuses of how they really should get on that application, or threats from their parents to log off or they would end up working at McDonalds for the rest of their lives. It surprises me how much the world has changed in the past couple of decades. How we could all go from payphones and message machines to having our lives consumed by a single website that we just can't get away from.
I cant figure out how to end it just right, any suggestions?
My guidance counselor has told me, numerous times, that the essays are a crucial part of the college application; they let the admission officers get a sense of who you are. As I sat down to write this essay I looked at my computer screen and sighed. I had Microsoft word open in one window and Zuckerburg's wretched creation in another. Like most teenagers, I find myself spending a good portion of my time on facebook. It sucks me in like a vacuum and makes it nearly impossible to escape. It has mercy on no one, sweeping its powerful wrath on anyone who dares enter its deceiving blue and white walls. Facebook is the reason I stayed up until one in the morning last Tuesday writing my AP government essay instead of sleeping. Facebook is the reason my mother diagnosed me as a professional procrastinator because I seem to always be studying my friends status updates instead of my AP literature book. Facebook is the reason I have turned into a groggy eyed, caffeine addict that walks the halls as a sleep deprived zombie. I hate facebook. While updating my status about how much I hate facebook, oh the irony, I realized that if someone wanted to know who I was, all they needed to do was visit my profile. All of my interests, hobbies, relationships, friends, groups, events, pictures, likes, opinions and beliefs are all conviently located on one single web page that is easily accessible to anyone with a computer. That's when I seriously started questioning why I was even bothering to take the time to meticulously write out everything about myself on my application when all I had to do was send you guys a friend request. Because technically, it's the same concept right? That's also when I started questioning my sanity. What kind of person had I turned into? Was I really that susceptible to the typical teenage stereotype that I had become so lazy as to spend my time on facebook instead filling out the application that would determine my future? But my news feed told me I wasn't alone. Dozens of my fellow procrastinating seniors' walls were plastered with statuses of how they really should get on that application, or threats from their parents to log off or they would end up working at McDonalds for the rest of their lives. It surprises me how much the world has changed in the past couple of decades. How we could all go from payphones and message machines to having our lives consumed by a single website that we just can't get away from.
I cant figure out how to end it just right, any suggestions?