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Faculties / Chemistry / Crawl to Success - NYU



andymarie 2 / 11  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
- Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
In 2009, I got the chance to help the needy for the first time and I felt an exceptional joy I never felt before. We gave goods and packed it in boxes ourselves, doodling on the boxes all good thoughts. The Beneficiaries are the people in the Philippines who got hit badly by hurricane Ketsana. It felt good that I made myself a promise to help the needy at least once a year and fortunately I had a chance this year to bring joy to the kids in a Day Care center in a rural place in Surallah, South Cotabato, Philippines. I want to make sure this will continue so recently I joined an organization called Volunteer in Dubai where they have an event calendar where it makes you be aware of how or in any way you can help, from walkathons to blood donations. By joining this organization I will not be only help my fellow Filipinos but all different races as well. I always knew the harsh realities but then it always feels good to abate the effects of unfortunate lives and circumstances.

SUPPLEMENTS:
1. Why NYU?
I want to join NYU because it has one of the world's most top-notch faculties. Faculty members like Joel Bernstein, Joseph Gelfand, Ingyin Zaw and so many more. I believe these people will make it possible for me to be a successful chemical engineer in the near future. I believe this will allow me to broaden my knowledge with my chosen major. Being one of the most reputed universities in the world means having a competitive environment, in terms of academics and also dealing with people from diverse backgrounds, that will encourage me to be at my best and this would challenge me to do more and better. I believe that NYU will not only nurture my intellectual skills but will also help me to become pro-active by joining the clubs they have and sports they offer which I think is rarely offered in other universities especially in the UAE. With this in effect I will have more interactions with different people and I may be able to feel the belongingness, which one has to feel in order to feel at home and enjoy life at NYU. I will be able to build a strong foundation in my future career to achieve my life long dreams. I got perseverance, the confidence and the courage to reach my goal, the intellectual ability, all I need is NYU.

2. Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice.

NYU, being a liberal arts university, will allow me to have hands-on experience in being an engineer. Chemistry as I see it is a bit of everything, so it would be great to know how it is applied in real life. With NYU providing exceptional education, I believe I will be able to think outside of the box and I will be able to broaden my knowledge to the extremes. This experience will help me be prepared when it comes to the real life career I will be having. Having all the knowledge and experience I will gain in NYU, hopefully I will create something history-worthy someday.

I had my first chemistry class when I was in grade 9. Things that I considered chemicals back then was Clorox and every poisonous acid I know in the house. I never knew that chemistry does not only imply to "chemicals" but also anything around us. I am amazed on how elements like carbon for example can combine in different arrangement and form completely different things. It is really amazing how things are created. It is like removing a piece of crisp from its bag and the next thing you know it became a can of soda.

3. What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

People who crawled their way to success fascinate me. A film called Pursuit of Happyness is what I came across late 2009. It's about a guy who was literally struggling to keep his family alive, after being swindled and in the midst of life's crisis his wife left him leaving him and his son alone. They got into a point where they would sleep in train station toilets. But he did not give up, by luck he gets to meet a manager in a firm that gave him an opportunity to be an intern stockbroker. He is the best definition of 'from rugs to riches'. Later on got a position in the firm and then he had the chance to form a multi-million dollar brokerage firm. This film made me realize I won't go anywhere just by sitting and watching videos on YouTube. This slapped me in the face and said to me 'If you want to be somebody you have to do something'. That was the end of my happy-go-lucky days and started studying hard and from being the average Joe of the class I made it and ranked 9th out of 60 students without any tie. And then I transferred into an international school to challenge myself more. Last year I got the 8th rank out of 122 students from quite diverse backgrounds and hopefully I will continue to reach and will be able to aim higher. This also made me realize that anything is possible, with perseverance and hard work. And besides, as Ann Landers once said, nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.

Open for suggestions, grammar check, and anything that would make my answers better :)

dyao123 1 / 2  
Dec 28, 2011   #2
1st essay
instead of needy, put those in need
add how you were able to help those in need, was it a company?
remember to answer the question fully, it asks you ONE activity. i think you need to focus on one volunteer organization you were apart of and how it affected your way of thinking, whether about life or about the world something to that aspect.

your a good person

1st SUPPLEMENT
combine the first 3 sentences
how will it broaden your knowledge of your chosen major? what is "this"
i like the content of this essay, but please work on your grammar, theres too much to fix grammar wise
Strawberry78 4 / 51  
Dec 28, 2011   #3
1st:
Instead of Phillipines and other races say everyone in general.

2nd:
How will those people help you succeed? Elaborate. Is it their teaching styles, their interaction or relationship with the students? A lot of schools have clubs, what makes NYU's clubs any different? Change I may be able to feel the belongingness, which one has to feel in order to feel at home and enjoy life at NYU to something like The diversity and close knit environment of the school will foster a sense of belonging withing me.

3rd:
Take out your anecdote from 9th grade or move it to the beginning and tie it in with what you initially had first.

4th:
Instead of wife left him leaving him and his son alone put wife abandoned the struggling family . Try and make your wording stronger. Your anecdote seems listy. Change to show what type of person you are. Try saying I realized I needed to stop watching all of those YouTube videos and work hard to achieve success .
OP andymarie 2 / 11  
Dec 30, 2011   #4
tie means having someone equal in rank.

thanks! :)
carochoi 3 / 22  
Dec 30, 2011   #5
Your second supplement to NYU needs a lot of work. Though you address that the university will help you with your future, you give no examples as to how it will help. What organizations, professors, or classes will help you once you're there? What goals do you have for yourself at NYU? Why is the school a best fit for you and your major? Make sure you're specific, or they might see your supplement as a character filler.

If you have time, I would love for you to look over my extracurricular essay. Thanks!


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