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"My family is an immigrant from China!" - Mit, The world I come from and my dream.



Planet_14 4 / 11  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
Please, edit my grammar errors. Tell me what do you think about as well. I'd be more than glad to tear to essay apart and start a new one if you guys really think that it doesn't fit with the prompt and not good enough.

Thank you in advance.

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (*) (200-250 words)

Since I was a kid I always amazed by constructions, buildings, towers. I always imagine myself as an engineer who standing on the top of the buildings working with those construction workers, controlling those fantastic looking machines, be part of the people who built those buildings.

My family is an immigrant! We migrated down from Southern China about five decays ago. I used to hear series of stories about how my grandpa managed to hide from the cops. Although, hearing those stories over and over again never make me want to be a policeman. Then when it came to my parent generation, both my mom and my dad side were an illegal immigrant, they finally got Thai's citizenship. Then, my grandpa got sick - he has cancer, he was suffering from it for almost a year and finally it killed him. At that moment, I thought 'if' I were a doctor, I might be able to heal him. Although, that was just a quick thought - quickly come, quickly gone. After this I have a great job, tutoring, which made me around $100 a day, but I know that whenever I figure something better to do I will be quickly move out of this job.

Although, I have several of chances to change my aim, but for some reasons, it just never changes. It always is the same thing as I first started it out. It always is an engineer.

graceee 3 / 8  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
I love your immigration story, but it doesn't really fit with what you're trying to say. I think it might be better to talk about immigration story and then how it has made you want to be an engineer..

I will edit your essay anyway!

Since I was a kid, I was always amazed by constructions, buildings, and towers. I have always imagined myself as an engineer who stands on top of the buildings, working with the construction workers, controlling fantastic-looking machines, and being a part of the people who built those buildings.

My family is an immigrant from Southern China. I used to hear series of stories about how my grandfather managed to hide from the police officers . Hearing those stories over and over again never made me want to be a policeman. Then, when it came to my parent's generation, both my parentswere illegal immigrants . Eventually, they managed to achieve Thai's citizenship. Unfortunately, my grandpa got sick - he had a cancer. H e suffered from it for almost a year, and it finally killed him. At that moment, I thought if I were a doctor, I might be able to heal him. However, that was just a quick thought - quickly come, quickly gone. After this, I have a great job as a tutor , which makes me around $100 a day, but I know that whenever I figure something better to do, I will quickly move out of this job.

Although, I hadseveral chances to change my dream, my passion just never changes. It has always been engineering , and it will always be the same.


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