"Immigrant parents from Mexico" - my workd, family, community

Can you review my essay?

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations

Being born from immigrant parents, I knew my life would be different from theirs. My parents can be described as being hard working and resilient. My father was born in a small impoverished village in Mexico. He worked many manual labor jobs in his village until his teen years when he and his father had to move to the United States in order to be able to support their increased family. After working hard for many years, my father and grandfather made enough money to get a lunch truck. My mother moved to the United States with her sisters several years later and needed a job. My father hired my mother and they got married a few years later. After working hard and saving money they got their own lunch truck and started their own business. Throughout my whole life nothing really interested me. This all changed my freshman year of high school, when I was introduced to soccer. I never had a fascination for soccer, but decided to join because the school was having try outs. The first few practices were dreadful and my body ached from the workouts. I felt like quitting because I couldn't keep up with the rest of the team. My coach told me to strive to do better. I continued practicing and bettered myself every practice. I felt exhausted at times, but pushed myself to my extent by reminding myself of that hard work pays off. I'd practice on days we wouldn't have practice by running at the park would ask older players for advice on how to become a better player. This all paid off when the coach told me that I had made the team. I was happy knowing the work I put into achieving my goal paid off. When I'm in the soccer field I feel complete. I felt anything could be fulfilled because of what I had accomplished before. I used this experience to better myself outside of soccer.

This was true last year when my family was going through a difficult time. My parents business was struggling due to the economy and they eventually lost their house due to this. We were forced to move and it seemed like my world was coming down. My parents were on the verge of leaving their business. I would help as much as I could by sacrificing time for myself by helping them weekdays after school and weekends. Little by little my efforts proved useful when my parents business recovered.

Knowing that I was able to accomplish something that felt impossible, I know I could do anything if I just put in the right amount of work needed. This is true as I embark of my dream to become a doctor. I know it will require lots of work but with the help of people around me and my determination I know it is attainable. I realize my aspirations aren't limited but infinite as I try to better myself in everything I do.

This is good.
Try combining related ideas in the first part of the essay. Make your short sentences into long, fluid ones. but make sure you are following conventional rules of grammar while combining.

try to add in more emotional detail, when you say you feel "complete," what do you exactly mean? find vague parts in your essay like this and explain yourself. It will help :)

My parents can be described as being hardworking and resilient.

When you use 2 or more adjectives in a row, separate them with commas:
My father was born in a small, impoverished ...

...own lunch truck and started their own business. (end the paragraph)

Start a new paragraph:
Throughout my whole life nothing really

Use an apostrophe:
My parents' business...

... was struggling due to the economy and they eventually lost their house. due to this. ---Those words are not necessary. The sentence is better off without them.

:-)

I like the ending.