'Family like water' - the world I come from, personal statement

Prompt: Describe the world you come from, and tell us how it has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

This is my first time using this site. Please give me any feedback you've got: suggestions, corrections, critiques. Feel free to be as harsh as you need to; this is a really rough draft, and I know it needs major work. Any and all help is greatly appreciated!

My family lived like water; fluid, constantly moving. Molding to each new container poured into. Each move resulted in the loss of possessions and friendships. I realized the only possession I would always have would be my mind.

As I saw my possessions shrinking, I saw my mind expand. Every lesson, adventure, information learned is mine, something that can't be left behind. Instead of playing inside with meaningless toys, I would be in a world where my imagination ran wild and unchecked. Each new move added a twist to where my imagination ran. I understood that life wasn't about the possessions, but about using what you have to develop pools of adventure and imagination.

The only possessions I have today, that are used for recreation, are my piano, trombone, and laptop. Music is only restricted my our imagination and is never wrong - only takes you in a new direction. I will sit down and let my fingers run free on the ivory and black keys, while my mind puts an adventure to the melody.

Like water my mind is willful, powerful, and unpredictable. With my mind as my most powerful possession and resource, I can use the power and strength to create something new and to reach the edge of impossibility. The world has much more to offer than the meaningless possessions. I know that whichever direction my own river flows, I will be able to mold and encourage others to realize that our possessions limit our potential of our mind. My main goal in life is to push the limits of my imagination and conquer a falsely named impossible.

Say this differently;
We led a life like the water in a vessel that changes its shape as the vessel is changed. Yes, my family was constantly moving from one place to another that resulted in losing our possessions and friendships.


.... I wish you would use another word instead of ''mind'' .... for me. i : (t does not read well : (

Thanks for your advice!

In my opinion, I cannot see enough substantial evidence regarding the world you come from. There are many metaphors, however none of which give me concrete examples as to how they show the world you come from. I would just suggest giving more of a palpable example as to how you were constantly moving. Did you move houses a lot? Did you switch schools a lot? Was this difficult on you? How did you overcome the stresses of constantly relocating? Etc.

peanut1789

I know that whichever direction my own river flows
should be I know that whichever direction my river flows

If you could help me with mine, I would greatly appreciate it.

yes, technically and hypothetically speaking, I side with iamnicholas's opinion. There are no concrete examples to show the world you came from.

Don't forget to thank me.

Thank y'all for the advice.
I made some changes

Mother and father was like oil and water mixed together. It was only a matter of time before they were separated. When they did finally get a divorce it caused major chaos in my life. I was in a state of confusion and ignorance. I realized I was moving out with my mother and sister while dad stayed at the house, later did I realize he sent my sister and I away.

We moved to Arizona leaving many friendships and possessions to be forgotten. We lived a particularly poor life. Struggling to make ends meet. Mother was always crying and in a state of depression for the way we had to live. I always told her that we were fine and that she had no reason to beat herself up for everything.

We moved in a matter of months to a smaller house across town. Again in a couple months back to California so my sister and I could easily spend time with father. When we moved back to California father moved, then mother. It went back and forth between them like it was some competition to see who could move the most, father won if it was. Each move I lost possessions and friendships. I realized the only possession I would always have would be my imagination.

As I saw my possessions shrinking, I saw my imagination expand. Every lesson, adventure, information learned is mine, something that can't be left behind. Instead of playing inside with meaningless toys, I would be in a world where my imagination ran wild and unchecked. Each new move added a twist to where my imagination ran. I understood that life wasn't about the possessions, but about using what you have to develop pools of adventure and imagination.

I have only moved once in the last two years but I have not lost my adventure and imagination. Music has replaced the constant moving from house to house with the moving of fingers on the piano. With my imagination as my most powerful possession and resource, I can use the power and strength to create something new and to reach the edge of impossibility. The world has much more to offer than meaningless possessions. I know that whichever direction life takes me, I will be able to shape and encourage others to realize that our possessions limit our potential of our mind. My main goal in life is to push the limits of my imagination and conquer a falsely named impossible.