Essay for FAMU admissions (activity, interest, experience, or achievement) - start?

I just need help starting my essay for FAMU. This is the topic:
Describe an activity, interest, experience, or achievement in your life (this could be a book, a movie, or an activity or experience at work, home, or school) that has been particularly meaningful for you.

The essay should be no longer then 250 words.

so far this is what i have.

An experience in my life that was significantly meaning to me was the passing of my two sisters in a tragic car accident on their way up to Tallahassee. Michelle attended and graduated FAMU in the winter of 2003 and began teaching at Tallahassee's School of Arts and Science. Marsha was a student at TCC, planning on transferring to FAMU the following semester.

Any Pointers on where to go after this or even on how i can improve what i have will be very helpful.

Thanks in advance.

That's terrible, Mark, I hope you are taking good care of your parents whenever they are reminded of the tragedy.

Well, you can make this even more powerful (i.e. powerful in the way that a piece of writing can be powerful) if you make it about an experience that occurred as PART of the complexity and pain that followed the tragedy. Do not just refer generally to the tragedy. Zero in on a detail, a particular moment.

That will intensify the whole essay.

Also, why are you telling the details about where they went to school? You should focus on one theme, one message represented by that moment you choose. Think of a profound film, like... Thin Red Line. A work of art, like the film or your essay, should capture one or more moments and use those moments to share a message/lesson.

:-)