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FAMU NURSING Admission essay! LOOK OVER IT to make it perfect



Faith8_88 1 / -  
Oct 7, 2009   #1
qUESTION: On a separate sheet of paper describe and discuss in an essay:
(1) yourself and your outlook on education;
(2) your plan for successfully completing this nursing program within the required time;
(3) things you have accomplished that have given you the greatest satisfaction;
(4) your reasons for selecting nursing as a career;
(5) any special reasons for desiring to enter this school; and
(6) your plans and aspirations after graduation.

mY ESSAY: nOT quite finish with the introduction and some of the rest, but how is it so far?

I am currently a sophomore at Florida International University. I completed my A. A degree for Pre-nursing at Broward Community College August of 2008. I grew up in a two-parent home with two younger brothers. My parents instilled in me taking responsibility for my actions and not others, good morals, be aware of my surroundings, and always keep God first in my life in my life no matter what. In addition, they taught me to push myself to reach for the sky by reaching for the highest education in my career.

My outlook on education is that education is important this day and time for person to receive a career that they enjoy doing and can maintain stability in their career. Education is a chance for a person to expand there mind by learning new things and show people that they earned their degree by putting the time in and reaped the benefits by receiving the degree and the career they always wanted. In addition, education can provide the courage of a person to move ahead in life by becoming more responsible, more diverse in groups of people, more openness to new things, and more accountable in their own affairs.

My plans are to keep myself organized with all the courses I am taking so I can pass each class successfully and never have to repeat a course. Also, put my time in by studying and if I have a problem I just ask questions to who I need to until I understand. I am not a person to give up easily if I do not understand a question or a course but I will do whatever I need to do to pass with understanding in the course. I do understand that in nursing I need to know the purpose of why I am doing certain things, so I want to learn the best way I can to answer any future patients of mine with clarity of the purpose of what I am doing or administering.

The greatest satisfaction I have from my accomplishments is receiving my high school diploma, and receiving my Associates of the Arts degree of Nursing from Broward College. I can say I earned what I received all on my own and on time. I did not let anything or anyone stop me from reaching my goals because I do not believe in giving up and caving in but pressing toward my goal. I have conquered some obstacles along the way such as not passing the FCAT the first time in high school, which put my graduating from high school in jeopardy. Because of not passing the first time, I decided to study more for the FCAT the second time. By me studying more for the FCAT, I passed the second time with even higher scores than the minimum passing score. Another obstacle that I have overcome in my life was when my mom almost died during one of the most important courses I was studying for at that time in college. Nevertheless, I did it even in difficult times. Another greatest satisfaction I have had was volunteering in my local hospital, on the Mother and Baby floor. I enjoyed the experience of helping the mother's who just had their babies with anything they need, such as, water, ice, and to make them feel more comfortable while in the hospital.

The reason I selected nursing as a career is that I get to help people and care for patients until they are better. I realized I wanted to become a nurse when started to volunteer at my local hospital on the Mother and Baby floor. I took full advantage of volunteering on the floor by asking many questions to the nurses who worked on that floor about nursing schools and being a nurse. I was so determined to become a nurse that I took a medical class in high school where we would travel to our local hospital for a semester and follow medical staff. The nurse I was following was very helpful to her patients, and caring. In addition, she answered any of my questions about what she was doing and administering to her patients. She and the nurses I volunteered with really encouraged me to become a nurse, and even gave me helpful tips on where to begin

I also like the fact that being the nurse means you deal with new patients so it is not the same situation everyday but different. I am aware that nurses are in high demand, so I know that as a nurse I am able to move around and know I will always have a job. I can even open an office or even become a traveling nurse or a nurse anesthetist. In addition, nursing has a lot of benefits such as the pay, days off, different places you can work, and can move to any specialty that you prefer.

The reason I would like to receive my Bachelor's from FAMU's nursing program so I can have the opportunity of going to the infamous FAMU. In addition, it will be great to learn the field of nursing at such a great legendary school. FAMU is a different world for me where I get to experience different cultures, surroundings, and become more independent. I would love to say to everyone that I attend/ attended FAMU and have the FAMU alumni tag on my car. Also, FAMU considers great value from students, such as, integrity, accountability, excellence, service, collaboration, and fairness. FAMU is also the school my aunt attended years ago and she always speaks highly of FAMU. I would really enjoy attending FAMU's nursing program Spring 2010. I heard greatthings about this program from current students and would love to study here to increase my knowledge to become a great nurse.

My plans and aspirations after graduation are to become a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA). Before I apply to graduate school to become a CRNA I have to work as a nurse for two and a half years. Once I become a CRNA, I would like to start in the E.R and eventually move to Labor & Delivery to administer the epidural to the mothers to be. In addition, I would like to start a family when the time comes.

EF_Stephen - / 262  
Oct 9, 2009   #2
My outlook on education is that education is important this day and time for person to receive a career that they enjoy doing and can maintain stability in their career.

My outlook on education is that education is important this day and time for person to receive a career that they enjoy doing and can maintain stability in their career.

The wording is awkward here, and in some other places too. First of all, most of us do not 'receive' careers. We work for them. Second, never use the same word in a sentence twice, unless it s a function word. The novelist Flaubert refused to use the same word twice even on the same page. You might find a thesaurus and use a synonym instead.

This needs some work. It feels rushed and breathless, like you were dying to get everything in it as fast as possible. Slow down. Decide what you want to include, and then put it in its proper place. Don't rush this.


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