Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 3


"fascinated with photography and painting" - Experiences that helped you define.



supermikos 1 / -  
Aug 10, 2011   #1
"When my daughter was seven years old, she asked me one day what I did at work. I told her I worked at the college - my job was to teach people how to draw. She stared at me, incredulous, and said, 'You mean they forget?" The Renowned artist Howard Ikemoto, talking about his daughter's question about his job. Others may see it as a gibberish type of question but I find interesting in a way that you can see the interest in the way that girl asks his father. Yes it's true, we we're kids we claim our art. Yes. I'm a writer. Yes. I'm a singer. Yes. I'm an artist. Then, we listen to negative voices inside and outside of our souls, and we do forget that we once knew how to be creative. The quote is not relevant only to the arts, but to the work we all do, living our lives from one season to the next, facing challenges, discovering insights and inspiration.

I was 9 years old when I started to be fascinated with photography and painting when my dad brought me along to an art gallery. My childhood days were then very normal like what others were doing like playing around with my brothers, sister, and friends. However, I felt quite different from the rest, since I was the only one spellbounded with colors and lines every time we went to an art gallery. I remember when I ask my dad to buy me this certain painting that was around Php. 100,ooo.oo and all the curators and spectators was so shocked to hear that instead of asking for toys and candies I asked for a painting.

Like what I said on my childhood days, were just like others, I played computer games such as DoTa or NBA Live like what the other kids my age were doing, but I do not forget to open MS Paint too. My parents raised me in using technology instead of the conventional pencil, paper, and crayons. Every time I showed them my artwork, my mom and dad were always amazed. They always persuaded me to be an artist when I grow up. Even my grandparents were very supportive to me. As time flies, I learned to use Photoshop which my mom endorsed me when I'm just 10 years old. My first digital art was an abstract. I drew circles on top of each other circles and painted it with different colors. After seeing the outcome of my work, I felt inspired on what I did. It even made me flatter myself and inspired me to do another sketch about the destruction of the Earth. The funny thing was instead of the normal sketches where you can see ordinary people cleaning up the environment, it turned out to be Superman saving the earth with his super strength. That was when I realized that I have an interest for the environment.

When I reached my first year in High School, I signed up for the Cybernetics Club which was involved with environmental awareness. A big factor why I joined with this club was not about the extra points I will be getting in my grades, but rather the values and knowledge on environment from joining the club. My dad served as my inspirations since, he loved art like I do and environmentalist as well. I considered myself as an environmentalist by heart because I do take this interest seriously as if I was professional environmentalist. My perspective to it was not about the papers or the certificates you have that certify you as an environmentalist but it was about your attitude towards the environment. I was an active member of this club for 2 years where I participated with discussions involving global warming, pollutions, melting of ice caps, and the destruction of the ozone layer. Ms. Kayla Sampang and Mr. JC Ramirez who were the club's president on my first and second year respectively, discussed and consulted with us the various environmental topics and problems affecting the earth. For that 2 years of good run, I decided to join the Interact Club of our school when I reach my Junior Year. It was a Rotary-sponsored club which focused with community service and building leadership. I joined the club because I wanted to help my community to become cleaner as well as to build strong foundation of friendship with them. It was not easy to be a member of the club, since you needed to be physically prepared and mentally active for brainstorming seminars and community services.

I learned that in this world, everybody can be your competition. I need to give my best in every endeavor no matter how small they are. By doing so, I practice what I have started and enhance it day by day. I can serve as an inspiration to everyone and influence them very well by participating in making our world cleaner and greener by becoming an ecowarrior. I must be aware of what is happening around us and do my part to lessen my negative environmental impact on earth such as my carbon footprint.

headstart - / 1  
Aug 11, 2011   #2
Hello,

Your essay has a lot of mechanical problems. It reads as though English is not your first language. The foundation of your story is great, it just needs to be cleaned up grammatically.

************************
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 16, 2011   #3
The writing is great here, and we are lucky to have you at Essayforum.

I think that second paragraph could be distilled down to 1 or 2 good sentences... less it more.

Like what I said on my childhood days, were just like others, I played computer games such as DoTa or NBA Live like what the other kids my age were doing, but I do not forget to open MS Paint too. Way too wordy here.

They always persuaded me to be an artist when I grow up. You have a brilliant writing style, but this part and a few other parts are unnecessary details. The approaches like, "I have always been..." and "I have been interested in X since I was Y years old..." -- these are overused in this kind of essay.

Keep verb tense consistent, and watch out for singular and plural. For example:
That was when I realized that I have had an interest for the environment.---As a matter of style, keep it in the past tense even though you still have the interest.

I need to give my best in every endeavor no matter how small they are it is.----every endeavor is singular.

:-)


Home / Undergraduate / "fascinated with photography and painting" - Experiences that helped you define.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳