Hi everyone!
I am currently in need of some revising for my FIT essay.
The essay topic is
"What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to?"
The limit is 750 words in the essay but I still need some help on a closing paragraph. If anyone can look over my essay and have any comments, please help out. Thanks!
My major is fashion editing - under the advertising & marketing communications category.
For more than two decades, the majority of the women of the Tong family have worked through long hours, late nights, and restless nights on low pay and
in rough conditions. Growing up in a family where money was limited and used only for survival necessities such as shelter and food, buying desired clothing was not an opened option. Instead, my mother made my clothing from leftover fabric, yarn, and many other materials from factories she worked in and materials my aunts consigned. Most of my clothing, were either made by my mother, or second-hand clothing passed on from my cousins. My mother made the most fun tutu-looking dresses, which I was known for wearing when I was a child, and jackets that were eye-catching. Her talent has since, endorsed my love for clothing, design, fashion itself.
Even though my mother did not use the best quality of materials, she made
every piece of my clothing shine and stand out. From that moment on, I knew I
would fall in love with more than just basic clothing, I fell in love with the extra enhancements, the more-than-just-ordinary look. Eight years ago, when I bought my first magazine, CosmoGirl!, I quickly fell in love with clothing and cosmetics featured. The clothing they featured were not just basic clothing, they were embellished with designs that completed the expressions, the meanings of each piece; a black sequined tube top represented an outspoken personality who is fun and sexy, an animal skin design top might represent a strong and urban personality and anything with lace represents a flirtacious personality. What amazed me the most was their editor-in-chief at the time, Atoosa Rubenstein, who founded the magazine and opened up with many advice and has gave back to her readers (one in particular when she created the reality series, Miss Seventeen, which rewarded contestants with goods and prized the winner as cover girl and internship, which would later opened her up to options to many high fashion magazines). Even though I was only a mere ten years of age, I was curious enough to buy every issue of CosmoGirl! magazine that was printed afterwards, then opened up to many other magazines such as Seventeen, Teen People, Elle, Harper's Bazaar, Vogue and Cosmopolitan. Seeing those beautiful models that are around my age and demonstrating the latest trends in many different body shapes, makes me want to show millions of girls that they can look fabulous no matter how they look like.
I was always so excited to see the new clothing advertisements featured in every issue. It always gave me an idea to improve my looks: what the hottest trend was and what's the current favorite item; I always liked having the latest items. About two years ago, I started to have a huge interest in cosmetics, especially in MAC Cosmetics, which always has a new collection just about every month. I loved keeping up with every collection that I tried to buy at least one item from each collection because their cosmetics (design and color) got much better, collection after collection and it excites me that MAC is used by many of the clothing brands I admire, in their ads, such as Diane Von Furstenberg, LAMB, and Alexander McQueen even teamed up to launch his collection for MAC! I am always one to find out about collections before its release dates and telling people, which I love giving heads up.
I believe that being a fashion magazine editor will help me socially; I've always loved working with people and I've always dreamed about going to fashion shows and giving people the 411 on the latest. I also love putting clothing together based on themes, photography, and "popularize the unknown". As a fashion editor, I want to be able to give independent and unexplored stores a chance to be known about their merchandise because I believe everyone should be heard. After all, I've discovered a love for many wonderful brands and products through magazines that have opened doors for them and it's time that I let everyone know about the best, based on high reviews, suggestions and ratings.
I want to work with this first sentence to make it stronger:
For more than two decades, the majority of the women of the Tong family have worked through long hours and late nights for low pay and in rough conditions.
That sentence needed some words trimmed away.
From that moment on, I knew I was falling in love with the art that is inherent in clothing, I fell in love with the extra enhancements, the more-than-just-ordinary look.---- this hyphenated term you invented is very good!!!
