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"my father bought me a Rubik cube; Math Team" - U Michigan Essay


Slayers_Boxer 2 / 4  
Dec 22, 2010   #1
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.(Approximately 250 words)

When I was nine, my father bought me a Rubik cube to play with after school. An eager son, I challenged him to find out who can solve the Rubik cube faster. I often tried and lost. In secondary school, I found out that I was cheated-Rubik Cube can be solved faster mathematically. Sitting in the library with my Rubik cube in hand, I relentlessly shuffled, turned and twisted it following the mathematical...

...

Does it matter if i exceed 250 (word count 280)

Does it ANSWER the prompt?
Mariam93 2 / 4  
Dec 22, 2010   #2
I think you answered the prompt - I love the idea of a mathematics-based community. You've really shown your passion for math.

According to Wikipedia, it's called a Rubik's Cube rather than Rubik. Also, you don't need to capitalize "math."

I've fixed the errors I found here:

When I was nine, my father bought me a Rubik's Cube to play with after school. An eager son, I challenged him to find out who could solve the Rubik cube faster. I often tried and lost. In secondary school, I found out that I was cheated-Rubik Cube can be solved faster mathematically. Sitting in the library with my Rubik cube in hand, I relentlessly shuffled, turned and twisted it while following the mathematical David Singmaster notations.

I beat my father at Rubik Cube that day. Mathematics grew as a second language to me, not for the rocket science problems but for the daily answers it provides, like the solution to a Rubik Cube.

In Singapore, I then became the captain of my school math team. As a leader, I had to know each person's mathematical strength to form teams to counter other schools' in competition. One's strengths covered the other's weaknesses; our team members grew by learning from each other. We solved intricate math problems not to impress teachers, but to express our thirst for finding possibilities: "A math problem always has many solutions" was our motto. We began to look at and appreciate our daily lives activities from different angles, just like in math. I always stressed to my teammates that competition is not about the triumph but the struggle-the joy in exercising hisone's intellectual juice through numbers.

Two years of hard work-mentally draining sessions, fitful naps after school and even broken calculators-yet our mathematics spirit prevailed. Personally, Math Team has turned me from a little boy'swith a Rubik's Cube into a National Silver Medalist. However, at the end of day, my family of math lovers taught gave me something more than just the color of the medal: the will to drive my curiosity through math.

Good luck! : )
OP Slayers_Boxer 2 / 4  
Dec 22, 2010   #3
Thank you!Mariam93
This is pretty urgent as I need to submit the essay in 2 days time. Any more help is deeply appreciated!
Ender 2 / 17  
Dec 23, 2010   #4
Never exceed the word limit
chocana 6 / 18  
Dec 24, 2010   #5
Your essay does answer the prompt, but I think there are some grammatical errors. In addition to the ones Mariam pointed out, this sentence seems awkward: "Two years of hard work-mentally draining sessions, fitful naps after school and even broken calculators, yet our "mathematics spirit" prevailed."

Maybe "Even after two years of mentally draining sessions...., our mathematics spirit prevailed"?
vladic007 9 / 22  
Dec 24, 2010   #6
Change to "Rubik's Cube"

Quite confusing sentence: "Personally, Math Team has turned me from a little boy's Rubik Cube into a National Silver Medalist." Rephrase it somehow.

Make it shorter. 230-250 words.

By the way my personal record of solving the cube is 1:50 (I'm a beginner)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 3, 2011   #7
I'll just make a few small improvements pertaining to verb tense:

...to find out who can could solve the Rubik's cube faster.

In secondary school, I found out that I was had been cheated; the Rubik's Cube can be solved faster mathematically.

The word won is not quite right. You win a prize, but you defeat an opponent.
I won defeated my father at Rubik's Cube that day.

This is a great essay. I think it will be better if you condense all the stuff about the Rubics Cube and find time to talk about the work you want to do to improve the world via your chosen field of expertise. :-)
mundaka 4 / 8  
Jan 4, 2011   #8
yea definitely a unique approach , if you clean up the grammer it should be down to 250 words.
blind527 7 / 34  
Jan 4, 2011   #9
I noticed in some areas you have Rubik's Cube, and Rubik's cube.

"An eager son, I challenged him to find out who can solve the Rubik's cube faster."

"I won my father at Rubik's Cube that day. Mathematics grew as a second language to me, not for the rocket science problems but for the daily answers it provides, like that of a Rubik's Cube."

When I was nine, my father bought me a Rubik's cube to play with after school. An eager son, I challenged him to find out who can solve the Rubik's cube faster. I often tried and lost. In secondary school, I found out that I was cheated-Rubik's Cube can be solved faster mathematically. Eureka! Sitting in the library with my Rubik cube in hand, I relentlessly shuffled, turned and twisted it following the mathematical David Singmaster's notations.

I won my father at Rubik's Cube that day. Mathematics grew as a second language to me, not for the rocket science problems but for the daily answers it provides, like that of a Rubik's Cube. In Singapore, I became the captain of my school Math team. As a leader, I had to know each person's mathematics strength to form teams to counter other schools' in competitions. One's strengths covered the other's weaknesses; our m ath family grew by learning from each other. We solved intricate m ath problems not to impress teachers, but to express our thirst for finding possibilities: "A math problem always has many solutions" was our motto. We began to appreciate our daily lives activities from different angles, just like in m ath. I stressed to my teammates that competition is not about the triumph but the struggle-the joy in exercising his intellectual juice through numbers.

Personally, Math Team turned me from a little Rubik's Cube lover into a National Mathematics Silver Medalist. However, at the end of day, my family of m ath lovers taught me more than just the color of my medal: the will to drive my curiosity through m ath.

I don't believe you are supposed to capitalize the word math unless it is used in reference to a specific course. Therefore, I made the changes for you.
ItsokaytoGaga 15 / 96  
Jan 4, 2011   #10
I like your essay!
It's personal and explains how your experiences led you toward math. :)

Good job! Wish you luck. :)


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