hello everyone,
i just wrote a rough draft essay for the following prompt..
Describe any challenges or obstacles you have faced in your life that would enrich and diversify the environment of our University.
i think i still have to add some "element" to this essay, but i really cannot figure out. as i am an international student, my English is not that good, so i hope you guys will help with my grammar and word choice.
please feel free to make comments and suggestions.
thank you.
Describe any challenges or obstacles you have faced in your life that would enrich and diversify the environment of our University.
It was almost midnight when my phone rang. It was my aunt but with unusually low and trembling voice. Then, she told me something that completely shocked. She told me that my dad had brain hemorrhage and was taken to India for the surgery.
The news of my father's illness left me totally shaken. At first, my family tried to hide it from me as they did not wanted to trouble me. I was angered at this but I also understood their concern for me. As I came to know about his illness, I started to feel guilty. It was my decision to come to US for my further studies which was resisted by my parents. It was no surprise to me as I was the youngest of the siblings and had never been away from home. My family undoubtedly feared the uncertainty and difficulty I would face in a foreign land. But I was able to make my parents understand about my future goals and the vast opportunities that lay well ahead of me.
My sisters told me how my dad lost his memory and failed to recognize them. Their account of his illness made me feel weak. I wanted to go home and take care of my father but I couldn't go because of my studies. It was no doubt one of the toughest times I went through. In the mean time, my studies started to suffer. I was not able to concentrate on my studies and was lacking behind in my classes. But before things went worse, I realized what I had been doing. Although it was hard for me to focus on studies amid all the happenings, I kept on working hard. My family, especially my father, would not have been happy if I did not perform well on my studies. Likewise, my father was recovering well from the surgery. This all motivated me to work even harder on my studies and let nothing interfere with my goals.
This has been one of the greatest incidents in my life. It awakened my sleeping eyes towards my aim with which I came to US. Moreover, during this time, I was able to build a better understanding of myself and, moreover, the life itself. It made me realize my strengths and weaknesses. I am more focused and motivated on my studies and involvements than before. Working twenty hours a week and completing eighteen to twenty credits a semester is tough, but I love challenges as they teach me to believe in myself and never let anything put me down. In addition, I have built an insatiable hunger for knowledge as I try to involve myself in as many things as I can.
I still remember there was a time when I did not know who I was, what I wanted to do or what I wanted to be. But now as I have realized what life is all about, I don't want to live my life not having made any change or not having accomplished anything. And through my faith in myself, I believe I will not only be able to fulfill my dreams, but also to do more.
i just wrote a rough draft essay for the following prompt..
Describe any challenges or obstacles you have faced in your life that would enrich and diversify the environment of our University.
i think i still have to add some "element" to this essay, but i really cannot figure out. as i am an international student, my English is not that good, so i hope you guys will help with my grammar and word choice.
please feel free to make comments and suggestions.
thank you.
Describe any challenges or obstacles you have faced in your life that would enrich and diversify the environment of our University.
It was almost midnight when my phone rang. It was my aunt but with unusually low and trembling voice. Then, she told me something that completely shocked. She told me that my dad had brain hemorrhage and was taken to India for the surgery.
The news of my father's illness left me totally shaken. At first, my family tried to hide it from me as they did not wanted to trouble me. I was angered at this but I also understood their concern for me. As I came to know about his illness, I started to feel guilty. It was my decision to come to US for my further studies which was resisted by my parents. It was no surprise to me as I was the youngest of the siblings and had never been away from home. My family undoubtedly feared the uncertainty and difficulty I would face in a foreign land. But I was able to make my parents understand about my future goals and the vast opportunities that lay well ahead of me.
My sisters told me how my dad lost his memory and failed to recognize them. Their account of his illness made me feel weak. I wanted to go home and take care of my father but I couldn't go because of my studies. It was no doubt one of the toughest times I went through. In the mean time, my studies started to suffer. I was not able to concentrate on my studies and was lacking behind in my classes. But before things went worse, I realized what I had been doing. Although it was hard for me to focus on studies amid all the happenings, I kept on working hard. My family, especially my father, would not have been happy if I did not perform well on my studies. Likewise, my father was recovering well from the surgery. This all motivated me to work even harder on my studies and let nothing interfere with my goals.
This has been one of the greatest incidents in my life. It awakened my sleeping eyes towards my aim with which I came to US. Moreover, during this time, I was able to build a better understanding of myself and, moreover, the life itself. It made me realize my strengths and weaknesses. I am more focused and motivated on my studies and involvements than before. Working twenty hours a week and completing eighteen to twenty credits a semester is tough, but I love challenges as they teach me to believe in myself and never let anything put me down. In addition, I have built an insatiable hunger for knowledge as I try to involve myself in as many things as I can.
I still remember there was a time when I did not know who I was, what I wanted to do or what I wanted to be. But now as I have realized what life is all about, I don't want to live my life not having made any change or not having accomplished anything. And through my faith in myself, I believe I will not only be able to fulfill my dreams, but also to do more.