My faultless grandfather; Person who had the most impact on me

Please help!!!Thanks a lot!!!

[Prompt]: Please indicate which person has had the most impact on you. Explain.

He is handsome. He is humorous. He is optimistic and he laughs a lot.
He is versatile. He plays flute well and his painting was once stolen in an exhibition. He is good at figure skating and he once beat a professional table tennis athlete. Even, he can cook palatable food.

He graduated from one of the top universities in China, Peking University. Then he got married and became a respectable math professor in a university. His life is perfect; he is such a lucky man.

Is his life perfect? Is he so lucky?
Actually no. This faultless man is my grandfather and his life was not always filled with luck. His dream major was not math but computer science, but he was not allowed to learn computer science due to his family background and this was not the worst. Only a couple of years after his graduation, Cultural Revolution broke out. Most of the intellectuals suffered a lot from the revolution but with his special background, he was treated extremely unfairly. He was sent to do heavy farm work, including lifting buckets of excrement.

I, his granddaughter, did not hear of his whole story until I was twelve. When first told about the story, I was shocked. Before then, he was a lucky man who lived a happy content life in my impression. He told me the story after I complained about my intense study workload, and the point he made is not how miserable his experience was but how lucky I was. He smiled at my astonishment, telling a contented mind is a perpetual feast and never judge a book by its cover.

The reason he survived the Cultural Revolution is that he never stops pursuing what he loves. He devotes himself in everything he participates and enjoys it. His passion for life deeply influences me. I not only inherit his love for science, arts and music, but also gradually assimilate his attitude toward life.

... very creative beginning ... impressive :)


... I suggest "defeated" instead of "beat"
You have a beautiful flow up to this line;


Here you say many intellectuals were badly affected and so did your grandfather. Then why you used the word "but"? It tends to confuse the reader.


... when you say "grandfather", the admission panel know that you are his granddaughter. So there's no need to tell that again; it only consumes your word count.

I was twelve when I first heard his shocking story.

JangGemini
'He is handsome. He is humorous. He is optimistic and he laughs a lot.
He is versatile. He plays flute well and his painting was once stolen in an exhibition. He is good at figure skating and he once beat a professional table tennis athlete. Even, he can cook palatable food.'

You could use some variety here.

I did Harryadjej. I used an arrow and told the writer to diversify the sentence. I also gave an example above ^^

Thank you all =v=!