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"Do you feel like you are part of the local community?" u of michigan



kaka0525 1 / 1  
Dec 24, 2008   #1
Discuss an issue of local concern. Why is this issue important to you? How do you think it should be addressed?

I have been asked: "Do you feel like you are part of the local community?" My response was once: "Well, I belong to it, but I do not take much interest in being an active part of it." That was exactly how I felt when I moved to the United States six years ago, when the local Chinese newspaper published articles about various challenges immigrants faced in most of their weekly issues. The only problem that I was aware of was my own struggles to adjust in the unfamiliar community and to break the stereotypical labels people have of immigrants-that we are uneducated, poor and unable to communicate in English. Actively participate in discussions about local issues? It was completely not my thing. Raised as a quiet and obedient girl, it has taken me years to step outside my comfort zone and take an active role in the community.

My involvement in the community did not start until my freshman year in high school when I became a volunteer for a local youth program called (----). Through (----), I worked with Asian elderly immigrants and other youths in my community to address and create solutions to environmental justice issues. I acted as a Chinese interpreter to translate orations on local issues. During my first year of volunteering, the only thing that was on my mind was to complete my mandatory service learning hours for high school graduation. Volunteering was just another responsibility that I had. I would never image how attached I would later become towards the work that I was doing.

It was during my second year in (---) that I discovered that part of me that wanted to take an active role in the community. I was taking a break during a regular community conference when I had a conversation with Mr. Lee. Like many older recent immigrants, Mr. Lee had limited English skills. What people did not know about Mr. Lee was that he used to be a chemical engineer in China. When he moved to Seattle two years ago, he had found himself a relatively low-skilled job because his qualifications or experiences were not acknowledged in the United States. He told me about the misconceptions that people had about the older recent immigrants: that they are non-educated and ignorant. However, he was always aware of the high crime rates and air pollution problems that existed in the International District neighborhood. The reason he hesitated to discuss solutions to these issues was because he could not find a place where his opinions could be accurately represented. Then he looked at me with a smile and said, "Well, this is a small local conference, but I am very thankful for being here because at least I have a chance to have a say."

Since that conversation, I have found the similarities that I have with Mr. Lee. We are both in the process of acclimatizing to a new environment. The language barrier might make communication difficult, but the actual obstacle that Mr. Lee and I both faced when we first immigrated was in believing that we are the change makers. Speaking our ideas and putting them into practice does influence and make changes to our community. The lack of interaction and communication with society had once given us the illusion that we were not a part of the community. I realized that Mr. Lee and I always have a say for what is happening in our surroundings, but we are just waiting for an opportunity to be heard.

* And this is my personal statement... I'm not sure does the essay clearly states the importance of the issue and my solution to address it . Please feel free to leave your suggestions and comments. Thanks!! -kay

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 26, 2008   #2
Okay, this is about your process of becoming involved in the community, etc., and it is not about an issue (i.e. and what you think should be done about it.)

you need to save the first two paragraphs for a future project and start over from here:

It was during my second year in (---) that I discovered that part of me that wanted to take an active role in the community. I was taking a break during a regular community conference when I had a conversation with Mr. Lee. Like many older recent immigrants, Mr. Lee had limited English skills. What people did not know about Mr. Lee was that he used to be a chemical engineer in China. When he moved to Seattle two years ago, he had found himself a relatively low-skilled job because his qualifications or experiences were not acknowledged in the United States. He told me about the misconceptions that people had about the older recent immigrants: that they are non-educated and ignorant. However, he was always aware of the high crime rates and air pollution problems that existed in the International District neighborhood. The reason he hesitated to discuss solutions to these issues was because he could not find a place where his opinions could be accurately represented. Then he looked at me with a smile and said, "Well, this is a small local conference, but I am very thankful for being here because at least I have a chance to have a say."

This is very good, and you are going to have to expand this to be an essay about that immigration difficulty and injustice... and what should be done to improve the situation. Do not write so much about Mr. Lee. Only write about him to explain the issue, and then go on to express YOUR ideas about what is to be done.
OP kaka0525 1 / 1  
Dec 27, 2008   #3
thanks for your suggestion. it's very helpful :)


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