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I felt at home ; Colgate-Why attend this university and contribution



ZOEeeeeee 1 / -  
Nov 12, 2013   #1
Topic: In 150-200 words, please tell us what inspired you to apply for admission to Colgate University?

I felt at home and even closer to Colgate after watching a video about Ho Tung Visualization Laboratory on Internet because I was interested in stars and planets several years ago.

When I was a child, my "Priority" on the way home after school was to stare at the night sky to find the brightest star and see it closely, but as I grow up, few opportunities lied there for me to do deeper research, so when I almost left this memory behind, Colgate, however, brought it back. Occasionally finding Ho Tung Visualization Laboratory when searching Robert H.N. Ho Science Center, I was immediately attracted by the vivid learning condition.

The full-dome digital animations can help visualize the whole universe; the immersive environment provides closer contact with what I want to see that may not be available in the field; the 3D models will trigger more passion and interests in me to see both macro-world and micro-world clearly. Even as if the cool projects in Geo-science of comparisons of volcanic eruption styles or fly-bys of the Hudson River Valley, I can definitely learn more than by just reading documents and discussing. What is even more fascinating is that I can create digital animation on my own so that I can show the earth to more people around the world.

Colgate has not only the ability to retrieve my dream but also the ability to help amplify it and make it come true.

I have some superfluous words and I am not sure my use of words is ok...
thanks for every single advice!

DeppX 6 / 15  
Nov 15, 2013   #2
''because I was interested in stars and planets several years ago''

--You might wanna remove several years ago or use it somewhat differently. It kinda implies you ' were ' interested and now you're not.

'' my "Priority" on the way home after school was to stare at the night sky to find the brightest star ''

-- Can you rephrase this sentence, 'priority' doesn't go with the sentence .


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