Film Concept: short film idea - Emerson College

just needed to write a script and this was sent to VCU already but im going to use this idea of my film to write an actual script for another College, Emerson College (which needs to be 5-10 pages)

let me know if this is a good idea for a short film!
let me know if each scene is too common or not...i want to have a unique idea but idk if this is unique or not.

Thanks!

When three girls had problems in their lives, they concurrently make their wishes without knowing each other. It begins in Richmond, Virginia with Mary who yearns to fit in with the popular crowd. She arrives at a party where she is quickly surrounded by judgmental whispers. She dashes to the restroom and contemplates ingesting several pills.

Meanwhile in Houston, Texas, Kelly is pregnant, but Joe, her boyfriend, is unaware. Kelly arrives at Joe's house to tell him the news; however, Joe accuses her of cheating before she could even speak. Joe shoves her down, hurting the baby.

During that time in Salem, Massachusetts, Cady sits at the kitchen table finalizing her homework while her mother, Sydney, cleans the kitchen. The father, Tom, storms in and yells at Sydney for unknown reasons. Tom pushes her away and throws his wedding ring aside.

As the three girls wallow in their sorrow, they notice the time: "11:11P.M." They have heard of the urban legend that when the clock reaches this time, one can make a wish and it would come true. As they simultaneously make their wishes, time stops due to the powerful force of their combination. Will the girls' wishes come true?

Ok, so I'm not really the best person to ask about whether it's unique or not, as my knowledge of short films is hardly extensive, but I would sooo watch it! haha

I think though, nowadays, it's really hard to come up with a completely unique idea (I should know, having ALMOST participated in NANOWRIMO for the last 3 years but realising that my idea sorta resembles this one and this one and this one...) SO as long as the script is good, I don't think it's that much of a problem?

GOOD LUCK!

As said above, I think it all depends on the way the script is written whether it is unique or not. I think the unique factor you have touched on is the power of the urban legend and collectively making the wish. Why are those three connected? If all people on earth make a wish at the same time, what would happen? In the stage of brainstorming and concepts that you are in, I don't think it necessarily stands out because the problems the girls face are kind of 'lifetime drama' problems. Making their problems complicated doesn't make the storyline more unique. So rather than that, I think if you start your short film at the wishing moment and maybe show faces of many different people in addition to the three looking at the clock, closing their eyes, and making a wish and letting the story go on from there, I think it would be quite a showcase of your creativity. The only reason I say that is because teenage problems have been done before and you said you wanted something that hasnt been done before. This is just one direction you could take from this. You could take many more directions from this. I really think you have a good idea going for you and you should definitely expand upon this vision.

Hope that helps!

OH WOW! thats a great idea! thanks!

@key
Actually, it would be a showcase of your creativity

I think it sounds like a fine concept--it's all in how the script is executed. I think focusing on three teenage girls who wish for different lives could dip very easily into cliches, but if the script is well written and conveys your visual concept well, then you avoid that problem altogether. Just make sure that what you want to happen visually with the film comes across very clearly in the script, otherwise it could get boring. Also, dialogue for these kinds of movies are key. Be careful to keep it genuine and trust that the actors will know how to convey the emotions (ie. you don't need a hundred exclamation points or to preface each line with "happily", etc.). I trust as an intended film major you know all of these things, but they're mistakes I made with my first few scripts and thought it was worth mentioning.