First generation college student and hopeful doctor; SMU supplement-additional info.

This is a response to the additional information part of the SMU supplement on the CommonApp. maximum 500 characters.

I will be a first generation college student and hopefully the first doctor in my family. My parents do not have the means to provide for my higher education; my commitment to pursue this education has been and will continue to be my only channel to success. This success is not only meaningful to me but also a gratification to my parents, who have made endless sacrifices to get me to where I am today. I am passionate about education, and nothing will keep me from pursuing my aspirations.

any suggestions? grammar errors?

I don't find any grammar errors. So that's a good start.

The only thing I see right now is that you didn't say why you choose medicine over other disciplines. Perhaps you could spend some time talking about that.

^Are you assuming that we know what the essay prompt is? Because we do not.
If this is just an additional information essay, I personally do not see the purpose of what you have provided. There is no requirement to further convince them that you want to study hard, because if the Uni believes that you are a worthy applicant, they will bear that assumption in mind that you will be focused in your academics.

The additional information essay, is typically, to inform the University about something that perhaps they would not have otherwise known from your application. Perhaps, you took a gap year, or graduated early, or somethine along those lines. It is not really an opportunity to sell yourself as much as it is to just inform them about something that they may need to know.

Liebe:

this the promt:

"The Admission Committee takes a holistic approach when reviewing each applicant to SMU. A prospective student may wish to provide the Committee with information that he or she was unable to convey in the Common Application. Is there additional information that you would like the Admission Committee to consider when reviewing your application?"

well, I just wanted to use this opportunity to convey how important education is to me i guess. but i do see what you mean. do you think it would be a good idea to elaborate on extracurriculars?

and also, this isn't an essay. its just a short answer type question. the character limit is 500 so i can't write any more than a few sentences.