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"First Kiss" Why OSU? I could comment on how awe-inspiring Elwood Gordon Gee is



asburyceline 5 / 12  
Jan 7, 2012   #1
Why are you considering The Ohio State University?

this is what i have so far, but i am not too sure how to finish it. so any advice will help :) thank you!

Why am I considering The Ohio State University? Well I can point out the obvious "OSU offers numerous majors to choose from, also providing me with an admirable study environment." Or I could begin praising myself highly along the lines of "I have a wide range of volunteer experiences, which is why I believe I'd be a fine addition to OSU." Or I could comment on how awe-inspiring Elwood Gordon Gee is, but I won't.

Do you remember your first kiss? The uncertainty you felt that made your heart raced like an uncontrollable cheetah, and the overwhelming fluttering pain that makes it difficult to breathe. The way your stomach twirls before the drop of a rollercoaster ride. Your hands are suddenly clammy as the exhilaration hits you like a crashing wave. You are fidgety yet thrilled. You are light-headed, dizzy, almost to the point where you pass out. It's from feeling anxious about wanting to make a good impression and agitated about the unknown.

As I contemplate about attending OSU, I experience the same emotion of a first kiss. My hands begin to sweat, and I am inundated with felicity.

Nana12 3 / 11  
Jan 7, 2012   #2
This is an awesome introduction. It gives them similes and something to visualize. However, in the body of your essay, use specific examples about the school and why this school attracts you so much. Such as, small class sizes, activites, clubs, etc. Research this school thoroughly, they will see that you know about the school. In addition, write the ways you will contribute to the school, getting involved in activites and organizations, hope this helps !


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